It's Been a Long While

It's been a long while,
far too long, really,
since I've written here.

So much has happened...
pain and hardship,
apple cart upended.

I've been working things out,
and it's a long, hard process
forward to _________.

This is transition:
things are changing in me,
at the core of me.

There is a mantle I've been passed
that I don't fully understand;
it's in my small hands.

My heart is grieving
(I suspect now, forever)
for the loss of them.

But I must move forward,
though I can't see the way clearly--
"Carte blanche, carte blanche"