Reading This Book: DESTINY by T.D. Jakes

I've got to say:  this book is a God-send to me.  I can't put it down, and I can't stop taking notes.  In fact, I don't know that I've EVER taken this many notes...I started taking notes on the inside cover, just based on what the book's blurbs said; I actually took notes in the Table of Contents, too!  If I have EVER taken notes on the TOC, it's been so long ago that I don't remember it!

     I knew 2015 would be a year of challenges and transitions, though I had no idea HOW MANY.  Whille there have been many, many victories and Praise Reports, I do feel as if this year of transition has not ended--and it may not ever if I do not do something about it.  While I realize change is a part of life (this book so notes, as well!), I don't want to lose my drive or dream while in The Waiting.  This book is helping me, challenging me, to keep going, even though I can't see where I'm headed, even though I don't know when my true self and true energy will be rekindled.  But energy is needed to create energy, right?  I have to DO something for something to happen.  I trust God to lead me in this transitional time.

   The New Year is right around the corner, and I do not want to be guilty of letting a year slip by (again) without being able to say that I have "much accomplished" for the Lord, my dreams, my life.  I am expecting and waiting for breakthrough, but I don't want to get in the habit of "sitting around," waiting for that breakthrough to come to me!  I want to do my part, so I have no regrets!  So the Lord is proud of me, and I am proud of myself!

    I want, while I wait, to keep my mind active, lean on the Lord for direction and guidance.  I want to hear His voice, clearly.  And I will keep on going until I hear from Him.  I don't want to miss the Destiny God has for me...things are too precarious.  I mustn't allow my precious time to be spent, to be wasted.  It is the most important commodity I have.  Without it, I cannot enjoy everything else that is my heartbeat:  my family, my friends, my ministry, my all of my blessings and gifts.

    It is my goal to finish the study of this book shortly--but at a pace where its message can sink into my spirit--and utilize its information to help me ENGAGE in the coming year.  One year from now, I want to see the PRODUCT of a life which has been directed, engaged, organized, distinguished.  

     My 2016 Bucket List will be posted within the next week.

  

     Note:  Stephen and I have had the pleasure of listening to the wisdom of Bishop Jakes first-hand, in his Project Gideon meetings in Dallas.  Though we have been unable to afford to go the past two years, his words still ring true in my spirit.  Our family has gone (on every possible occasion) to visit The Potter's House, and I am proud to say our daughters--Psalm, Allie, and Raylee--have had the opportunity to sit under his unbelievably anointed preaching.  As I read this book, I feel as if he is acting and serving as a Personal Life Coach to me.  No doubt others feel the same.  But he has a way, a gifting, of speaking to the heart of a matter, hitting each person at his/her core.  I owe much to this Man of God.  

    I highly recommend this book to ANYONE who is ready to go to The Next Level in their lives.  I look forward to getting to my own Next Level.

The Fourth "I": Mission to India?

On August 7, 2012, I posted a blog called, "The Three I's."  It was about Stephen's and my desires regarding the mission field. At that time, we both agreed that what was on our hearts was "The Three I's"--Italy, Ireland, and Israel.

At that time, all we had received were our passports.  And we knew there was a real Call to the Mission Field.  We just didn't know where God would lead us.

At first, we thought the door to Ireland was opening.  But then there was silence.  So the Lord opened the door to Florence, Italy, instead.  We went to Florence the summer of 2013.

In 2014, we bought our house.  The budget has been tight--and a constant adjustment.  We do not have the money we used to.  It has been an adjustment.

This summer, God supernaturally provided a way for us to take the family to National Fine Arts in Orlando, Florida.  Raylee had received Top Third in the state in Short Sermon, Jr., and got invited to Nationals.  Through summer school, summer online class, and an interim--in addition to Stephen's work and contributions and contributions from his family--we were able to go.  We also got to take the kids to Disneyworld and Universal Studios, a real dream-come-true for our family.

Next summer, the men of District 2 are planning a trip to Ireland to work on the construction of a new church there--as I understand it, they are converting an old store to a church in some city in Ireland.  Stephen is getting to go to one of our "I's"!  

About a week ago, I noticed that Global Missions had posted new opportunities for their missions trips for 2016.  I looked at Ireland--my friend Raelynn is planning on going back to Cork, Ireland, this year.  We have discussed going there together on a missions trip.  

But then I thought, "Lord, you KNOW I want to go to Europe.  Pretty much anywhere in Europe.  But where do YOU want me to go?  If I went somewhere OUTSIDE of my comfort zone, where would you send me?  And I checked the Africa postings--nothing spoke to me.  I checked Asia.  And there it was.

Calcutta.

Oh my gosh, Calcutta, I thought.

Mother Teresa Calcutta.  Missionaries of Mercy Calcutta. 

Calcutta.

Could this be it?  I wondered.

And then I remembered:

When I fasted for a year and a half about my life, years ago now, I had asked God to have His Will:  Lord, please let me know if I am going to get married and have a family.  If I'm not, if that isn't for me, then let me know and I will go on the Missions Field.  I will go where you want me to go--I will go to India and help the Missionaries of Mercy.

And I started crying.  Is it time for me to go, then?  Will India be my next mission, my next journey?  

I told my husband, Stephen, about it.  

"India?" he said.

"Yes, Calcutta."

He thought for a moment, I could see him thinking.  

"Remember, Calcutta is where..." I started.

"I know," he said.  "I know why you want to go."

He knows Mother Teresa is one of my heroes and one of my greatest inspirations.  

"Mother Teresa..."

"I know," he said.

"If I can raise the money--and it would have to be God--I will go."

Stephen agreed.  He understands my heart and the importance of this place for me.

------------------------------

Honestly, I'm still seeking God about it.

The actual trip is to Calcutta to work with the famous Buntain ministry--these people were friends with Mother Teresa!  I would be helping them, but I hope to get time to see Mother's ministry as well, if God calls me there.

I have told a few people about what God is dealing with me about.  I've received mixed reviews.  

Stephen told me tonight, "You know my policy on it."  

"What's your policy?" I asked.

"If God's calling you, you must go."

I agree with him.  We've seen it too many times.  If God has called me, he will make a way.

I told Raelynn last week that I wasn't going with her to Cork this year--that I felt God calling me elsewhere.  Sunday, I told her where.  She, of course, was excited for me and confirmed that God would make a way if I were to go.

I mentioned to my American Literature class about the Call to India.  They mentioned how hot it is there, how the water is polluted, the sickness that is there, reminding me of the fact that I will be in HOT TEMPERATURES.  And then I started thinking about how the heat gives me migraines.  And then I started thinking, "I'm 44 years old.  I struggle to maintain my energy levels.  I am going through the change.  What am I THINKING going to India?!?!?  How can this be GOD?!?"

Today, I shared with Susan Hill about the India Calling.  She was supportive.

When I went to church today, I talked to Sherry Stacy, our Children's Church pastor, about the Calling. I confessed that I was worried about the logistics and realities of it all.

She told me about a personal experience of hers a few years back.  The people who helped her with VBS told her they couldn't help that year.  She was thinking of calling VBS off because she couldn't do it on her own, she was "too old" to do it on her own.  She wasn't equipped to do it all on her own.  So before she called it off, she went to the altar to pray.  "God, show me Your Will." And He did.  He showed her PRECISELY what to do.  Every detail.  But she had physical issues with her gallbladder that year.  After she went to the altar, God touched her body and she didn't have any trouble with her gallbladder for the three weeks of preparation and performance.  She said, after VBS, it started hurting again.  But during the Calling, it didn't hurt at all.

I told her, "I need to get before the Lord!"

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So, right now, I'm in the process of "getting before the Lord" and seeking His will.

I sent an email to Global Missions today, expressing a general (non-committal) interest in the trip to India.  

I haven't heard back, but I'll definitley update when I do.

----------------------------------------------

I suppose the thing that blew my mind today was when I was talking to Susan.  I told her that two years ago (it's actually been three), that God had called me to three countries that start with the letter I.  

And then I realized:  India was my Fourth I!

The Vision by David Wilkerson (1973)

Notes from the Audio Recording of David Wilkerson talking about his vision, which becomes the subject of the book, THE VISION.

Title: "David Wilkerson--The Vision." Accessed on YouTube.

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Five Calamities:

1. Worldwide Recession caused by Economic Confusion
A few more flourishing years. Then recession. World economists lost to explain. Germany to Japan to U.S. Large corporations bankrupt, many churches bankrupt. Use the next few years to prepare for financial crises

2. Nature having labor pains
Worldwide disasters. More frequent, more intense. Major earthquakes, worldwide famine. Food supplies dwindled, people starving. Cosmic storm as raging fire in sky. Tornado, Hail storms, floods, hurricanes--people will admit these occurrences are supernatural.

3. Flood of filth and baptism of dirt in America
Abominable filth. XXX after midnight on cable. R rated movies on network TV. Newsstands worse than Playboy. Sex ed using animated cartoons. Films about sexual intercourse. Floodgates swing open. Filth vomited out.

4. Rebellion in the home.
Hatred toward parents. Parents die at children's hands. Parents give them what they choose to keep them home. Will not communicate with children. Bigger problem than drug addiction.

5. Persecution Madness against Spirit Filled Christians who Love Jesus Christ:

Jesus told us Holy Spirit would come; predicted persecution for believers. (John 15:18) Separate true believers from the false. 2 Tim. 3:12 Go all the way if you're going to be a charismatic Christian!

A. Come as madness on earth, as never before witness. Rise like many headed monster out of sea. Slowly, subtlety. Spread to entire world. Antichrist spirit. Government, spiritual wickedness in high places. Harassment. Evangelical missionary projects, programming, so closely monitored, questioned and badgered. Worried about moving.

B. Rising super world church and formation of world council. Union between liberal ecumenical Protestants and Catholics to create powerful religious formations on earth. Start as charity, end as political union. Super visible, spiritual in name only. Antichrist in many activities. Social action, charity and ministry of compassion. Call for social action, greater voice in world affairs. Mysterious chain of events. Pope more political than spiritual. Protestants receive concessions.
Invasion of people in Super Church, political. Leadership says one thing, people under them persecuting everyone who doesn't comply.
Homosexuals and lesbians welcomed to the super church union. Welcomed and encouraged to continue in lifestyle. Ordained ministers, given authority. Heralded as new breed of pioneer evangelism. All around the world. Homosexual churches receive full recognition from denominations. Under guise of love and "understanding." Church literature will confirm their lifestyle as Christian.
Nude dancing in the church, seen as artistic worship. Many given to reprobate minds. Mental illness that cannot be explained. No treatment. Not widespread, but accepted as legitimate expression of worship.
Condone practice to remake devil, bland, not feared. Seances will replace prayer meetings. Intrigued by supernatural occult. Ministers who are not close to Jesus will be very close to the devil. Satan's messengers trying to get people to think--do not fear Satan. Fortune telling, etc. widely accepted.
Rise of another super church--the invisible church, the true church. Bonded church, underground, true believers--Catholics and Protestants, all colors. Grow tremendously in spiritual power--drive them closer together through persecution. Less about denomination, more about the Coming of Jesus Christ (this is what ties us together). This church already exists. Politically invisible. Persecution more intense, these become radical--supernatural Holy Ghost power to preach to world.
Persecution for charismatic Catholics. Face the worst persecution of all. Political pressure placed on priests to snuff out Pentecostals and call for purging. Slow trend, but momentum--persecution from within own church. Pentecostals appear to be a threat. More than 500,000. They will be accused of lacking social concern, negating authority of pope, turning away from Virgin Mary. Catholics and Protestants will come out from among them--"Renewed Christians." Fellowship based on God and Jesus Christ, not "speaking in tongues."
Persecution through media struggle. Sound of change. Doors will open elsewhere, though closing here. Will close again and horrible persecution.
Satan has declared war on ministers of Jesus Christ. Refuse to cheat on wives, refuse "new morality"--targeted. Devil raise up gossip-mongers to align against you. Ridicule, gossip, misunderstanding. Every statement examined and cross-examined. Pastors of churches--innuendos, lies, false statements. Demonic power. Wives also under attack. Legions of lying spirits. To rob them of faith and ministry. All spirit-filled believers will be attacked like this.

Fulfilled in this generation, not at same time.

[Closing Comments:]

Open eyes. Look up and rejoice. Your redemption draweth nigh.

Vision of calamities, frightened me. Kept up night after night. How are we supposed to do all we are supposed to do when this is happening? Buy farm and ride out storm? Give up?

Holy Spirit said five words: GOD HAS EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL.

Judgment is coming. Will get more intense until the Kingdom comes.

Don't fear: Say, "That's my God talking...He's saying GET READY!"

Even the devil is under HIS control. Devil's power is limited. Even a baby Christian can put him to place.

My Spiritual Bucket List: 2015

It's April, and I'm just now writing my "Spiritual Bucket List" for this year. Here it is:

1. Determine whether or not God is calling me to graduate school (seminary), to begin classes for my ordination with the Assemblies of God, OR to wait. (Clearly, when and as He leads, I will apply and begin studies ASAP.)

2. Compose a non-profit business plan for the non-profit organization God has laid on my heart. (And as soon as my budget is able, to begin applying for the rights/paperwork and ordering banners, stationery, etc., and beginning the work He has called me to.)

3. Write (or at least outline) a series of children's books. (I am currently praying for clarity on which age group is my target audience.) When the books are written, I will then proceed to contact publishers (and consider self-publishing) and illustrators.

4. Devise a yearly budget for the non-profit business AND the mission God is calling me to. (I have specifically been called to visit Africa and work with children. This isn't the only place I feel compelled to go to work with children. As soon as God opens the door, I will GO!)

MY PRAYER FOR THIS YEAR:

1. To become MORE of a Soul-Winner. I want to be READY to, personally, lead people to the Lord this year. I don't want to just be READY, though. I want to personally lead people to Jesus Christ! God's Will be Done!

2. I am TRUSTING GOD and EXPECTING HIM for supernatural expansion in my budget. I am asking God for a $10,000/year addition to my current yearly budget. This money will go SPECIFICALLY toward these items in my Spiritual Bucket List, PERIOD.

3. To continue to live in HOPE and EXPECTATION for the future, to love people like He wants me to love them, to grow in Christ.



In the next three years;

If I do not have victory in my budget/salary within the next three years, I will begin, as God leads, to get rid of overhead debt. If we have to sell our beautiful home, then so be it. (We should have enough equity to sell in the next two and a half years.) If God does not supernaturally do a work in our budget, then I will assume it is up to me to find the money in what we have already been given. (I am THAT CONVINCED that He has a work for me to do.) It is my HOPE and EXPECTATION that it will not take three years to experience SUPERNATURAL INCREASE in my budget. But, if it has not happened in three years, I will begin the "downsizing" process so I/we may follow the Call of God on our lives. NOTHING is more important than what HE is calling me to do. I know that He is coming soon, and I want to do all I can to spread the Good News of Christ and His Love to children EVERYWHERE--in the U.S. and abroad.

Psalm 118:5

Yesterday, I awoke with this on my mind:  "PSALM 118:5."

When I say, "on my mind," I mean that right before I opened my eyes, I "heard" mentally, as if someone spoke to my mind, "Psalm 118:5."

God has spoken to me many times like this.  I knew it was Him.

It was Sunday morning, and I often speak at my church, assisting my Senior Pastor with either The Call to Worship or The Call to Prayer.  Both of these tasks require a reading of a Bible passage.  I usually spend all morning in prayer, asking God to lead me to the right Biblical passage so that I say what He wants and needs me to say to His people.

Though I never got a text from my pastor telling me that I had a role in the morning's service, I looked up the verse and, when I finally got to church, I kept my Bible opened to it, just in case.

It has been my experience that when I "hear" something like that, I need to pay attention.  It's for a reason.

But now, after I've just written an entire post (See, "So...what about Missions," posted right before this one), I realize that the verse may be FOR ME.

----------------------------------------------------

Consider:

"When hard pressed, I called to the Lord; He brought me into a spacious place."

The King James Version says, essentially, "When I was in distress..."

Strong's Concordance also suggests that "spacious place" can include the concept of "freedom," and/or "enlarged territory," as well.  

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So, as I see it with fresh eyes this morning:

When I am backed into a corner, pressured by some force, feeling cornered with no seeming means of escape, I need to CALL TO THE LORD and ask for help!  He alone can rescue me and place me in larger territory with newfound (and appreciated!) freedom!

Interestingly, we are not told what the Psalmist did, if anything, to get backed into a corner.  Maybe he was chased into it, maybe poor decisions and foresight got him there, maybe he wasn't looking ahead--for whatever reason--maybe he never saw his enemy behind him, sneaking up.  Or maybe it's not his enemy but his mind, his burdens, his concerns.  Maybe it's a situation, that seems utterly helpless.  Maybe it's his finances.

Whatever it is that got him there, he's in a corner and he cannot do anything about it.  He knows his only way out is the Lord.  Whether this man contributed to the problem or not, it doesn't say.  What it DOES say is that he cried out to the only One who could help him, and THE LORD gave him freedom, setting him down in an enlarged territory.  

This morning, I take this to mean that, as I continue to cry out to the Lord about my circumstances--for me, my finances--He WILL deliver me.  He will give me financial freedom and enlarge my territory so I can properly serve Him and work for Him, as I have been called to do.

Let it be to me, according to Your Word, Lord.  Amen.

"So...what about Missions?" & Other Thoughts

"So...what about missions?..." an acquaintance-friend at church asked me last night.

I thought, "What about missions?  I can't afford to fill my tank with gas right now."

I said, "Right now, our budget is so tight, I don't have the luxury of thinking about missions right now.  There's no way," I said, then realizing just what I'd said, and added, "We're not going unless God miraculously provides a way."

"Well, I was wondering," she said, "When you guys move, will Raylee go with you?  And what about Allie?"

It was a strange--if not surreal--moment, when I realized what she was asking me.  She wasn't asking when I'd be going on my next missions trip--but when we were moving to do missions.

Now, that's something.

Right now, I cannot even afford to think about doing much of anything.

My new car payment is sucking what is left of my budget after I pay the house payment each month.  With what's left, I pay for my phone, for my school loans, my tithes, and then it's gone.

All gone.

My car will be paid off in five and a half years--and then I'll have nearly $500 more a month to save for something.  The house has 29+ more years.  My school loan?  Probably the same. The checking account I use to pay these bills is in the red every month.

Then, with my second job, nearly half goes to help fund the new Children's building we are raising funds for at our church.  Then, I pay my tithes, hope I have enough to pay for Psalm's dance fees, and my Old Navy credit card bill.   Every bit I have left goes to gas and supplies for the house.  There's not much more--and if there is, I try to take my daughter to the movies on occasion.  Right now, because of a gross oversight, the account I use for this is in the red.  It may take me three weeks to get in the black.

I have a third job, and what I make from that each month goes to cover expenses I cannot afford otherwise--like the cost of the speeding ticket I received precisely a week ago.  I'm hoping that I can save enough from this job to get a new pair of glasses--I desperately need them!  I also need a vacuum for the house.  And I have a small bill ($50-something) for my last visit to the doctor, when I had the flu. This job is not stable--it's my after-school job and I receive money only when school is in session.  I am already praying that I can work their after-school program in the summer.

And missions? 

As you can see, there isn't any room for it.  Perhaps, in six years, when the car is paid for, but otherwise?  It would be a miracle.

Last night, as she spoke to me, I realized she was speaking to me as if a move was imminent.  She totally believes we are moving to fulfill our call to missions.  It was kind of astounding, actually.  

So, this morning, I have awakened with that thought on my mind.  Because three years ago, God spoke over Stephen and myself and we were told we would be moving to Ireland.  We would start by going in the summers, then move there permanently to help with the church.  We really believed God has spoken to us through a Man of God (the former leader of the A/G churches in all of Ireland).  And then--nothing.  We have heard nothing.

Toward the end of 2014, I felt a calling to start a non-profit organization for children.  I know He showed it to me, and He gave me the name for it.  I went to the lawyer's even, and met with a friend who had started her own non-profit.  I found out I was under-prepared for the realities of what it takes (to start:  almost $1000 to file the paperwork!), and though I have shed tears of frustration about it, I still believe in my heart that the calling is there.

In the beginning of 2015, just within the past month, I have felt an urge to go to seminary.  I have gone so far as to contact colleges and inquire as to scholarships.  But I am in enough debt, and I do NOT want to get FAFSA because the cost of schooling is ASTRONOMICAL.  I'm already buried in debt. I cannot incur more.

I remember what one of my spiritual contacts told me one time, years ago:  "If it's God's Will, it's God's Bill."  And I know how that must sound (because, truthfully, I had to grapple with the meaning of it before I could pass it on), but I believe it's true. Certainly, looking at my financial situation, it must be true.  If we are to do ANYthing, He will have to make it possible.  We can't move from our house until the kids are grown.  We need the space.  God blessed us with this home.  I have a car payment for nearly six more years.  I'm already working three jobs to make it from week-to-week.  What else is there?

But if God has truly called us to all of this, I must walk in faith, knowing that He will provide a way where there seems to be no way.  I must trust Him.

I don't know what else to do but give it to God.  

If He says that we are moving to Ireland, we will, and HE WILL PROVIDE THE WAY.

If He says that I need to start a non-profit for children, I will, and HE WILL PROVIDE THE WAY.

If He says that I need to go to seminary, I will, and HE WILL PROVIDE THE WAY.

I BELIEVE HIM.  I TRUST HIM.

And though I am currently in a financially "tight" situation, I will not always be.  He knows what lies ahead.  He knows from whence my miracles cometh.  Amen

This New Chapter: Title Unknown

I know that not long ago, within the past year, if I had to guess, I turned a "proverbial page" in the book of my life. It has been only recently, in the past three or four days, that I have realized that I am clearly living in a new chapter of my life journey. The only problem is that I have yet to discover what the title of this chapter is.

At once, this realization regarding this newest chapter relieved me (I had been wondering what was the matter with me) and disconcerted me (why is it that I have yet to understand what kind of chapter this is?).

If I'm being honest, I've known there has been a change in certain areas of my life--primarily my thinking about my destiny and calling--but I haven't been able to "put my finger on it," as the saying goes.

This new chapter has much to do with my spiritual walk. It has much to do with my calling, my purpose, my destiny.

While I feel certain that God has willed this new chapter in my life, I'm not certain at all about what I'm supposed to do and when (let alone how).

I need clarity, and if you are reading this and you are a praying person, I humbly ask you to pray for me. For clarity--and direction--and the courage to do whatever He has called me to do.

There are a number of things that are on my heart, that I am seeking Him about. I need to know which and what He REALLY has designed for me to do. I don't have time to sit idly by as time races by. I don't have time to waste. This is the latter portion of my life's book, after all. At the minimum, we are about to hit the climax, right? I want to make sure that I finish strong, as He wishes. I want Him to be proud of me, pleased with me.

Please help me pray that I will hear a DIRECT WORD from Him. I need confirmation from the Lord. I need to know what to do. Because I know time is short. He is coming for us. I want to be READY when he calls. No regrets.

No regrets.

Thank you for your prayers, and for reading this. I appreciate it very much and pray the Lord bless you for your prayers.

Peace.

Alarming CNN Headline & My Facebook Response to It

My Facebook response to the CNN headline, "ISIS Targets Christians":

"Into the darkness You shine! Out of the ashes we rise!
There's no one like You, none like You!
Our God is greater, our God is stronger! God You are higher than any other!
Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God!
Our God is greater, our God is stronger, God you are higher than any other!
Our God is Healer, Awesome in Power, Our God! Our God!
And if our God is for us, then who could ever stop us?!?
And if our God is with us, then what could stand against?!?"
I Corinthians 15:55

http://www.cnn.com/2015/02/15/middleeast/isis-video-beheadings-christians/index.html

Trixie: An Old Friend Reappears in My Dreamworld

I'm actually not sure that this post belongs on this blog--perhaps it should be on my "A Happy Psalm or Two" blog--but since I dreamed it, and since it connected with me emotionally on a deep level, I'm placing it here because I suspect it may say something about something (yes, I realize that is vague)--as dreams often do.

I dreamed I was at my Mom's house visiting. And when I couldn't drive because someone destroyed the roads (there was a sense of political threat going on), a big, beautiful, brown quarter-horse stood up and came to me so I could ride her to where I needed to go. Her name was Trixie. And I knew her name, instinctively. She hadn't been visible--she'd been hiding behind a tree, in the greenery. It was clear that Mom and I didn't know that she was there, but when she stood, it was as if she had always been there, always been my horse.

First, she carried me to check out the damage of the roads. I had an engagement and knew my car would not take me, so this horse stands up in Mom's front yard and comes to me: and I know her, I remember her--though I know I haven't seen her in years.

**Inserting Reality Bit: When I was growing up, we had a miniature pony named Trixie. We had her for a few years before my parents sold her because she was out in the back pasture predominately by herself. But that was when we lived in California, not here. This pony in the dream was large, like a beautiful quarter horse. Same color as our Trixie, but much larger. Yet, I felt connected to this large pony in the dream, as if I'd known her all the time.**

Then, I have to go speak somewhere, at Mom's church (which is what I'm actually doing this morning) and I get in my car and I'm sorry to have to leave her, the tall horse follows my car for the length of the fence at Mom's house. I am yelling out the window, "Bye, Trixie! Bye! I love you! Thank you!"

I woke up feeling the dream was so rich and real: and I wondered why this horse was such a big part of the dream. Am I supposed to get a horse? Or is this a memory of sorts? A reminder that everything we touch is always there in some way?

Response to OK Senator's Question

This morning, I received an email from an Oklahoma Senator asking me to complete a survey about what I think are our nation's most important issues. At the end of the survey, I was asked to write what I felt was most important for this Senator to remember as he served his term.

I'm not usually someone who completes such surveys, for one reason or another: lack of time, serious questioning of the survey's motives, seriously doubting whether or not (or how) the survey will be received. Yet, this time, I decided to respond, and the words seemed to easily flow.

I copied the response I gave him and pasted it here, so I could remember what I said to him:


Seriously? First, PRAY continuously for direction. You are in an influential position--and I do not believe that is by accident. You are positioned where and as you are "for such a time as this." I still believe in a God that will lead and guide leadership if He is allowed to. I still HOPE to believe that our country is not in its last years, but, through right choices of leadership in key positions, on the brink of proving we have what it takes to thrive for countless generations. Second, COOPERATE with people who are seriously interested in the good of the country: whether they are "Democrats" or "Republicans." I represent a generation of voters who consider themselves MODERATE. I represent a generation of voters who would register INDEPENDENT if they were allowed to vote freely. I vote for the PERSON, not the party. I voted for YOU. I realize there are proverbial "hoops" through which party members are expected to jump, but it is my hope that our leadership will cooperate with others, not for the sake of cooperation, but for the sake of GETTING THINGS DONE. Third, "STICK TO YOUR GUNS." That's an Oklahoma way of saying, don't allow people to bully you. Stand for what you believe, no matter what. You have a good idea of your constituency: don't be afraid to speak for us, fight for us, no matter what anyone says. I represent a generation of voters who don't trust politicians because they say one thing one day and something else another day. I may not agree with you on every position, but I will RESPECT a person who "sticks to his/her guns" because they believe in their position. Best wishes to you. Thank you for soliciting our opinion. That matters. God Bless You.

A Friend's Prophetic Dream about My Life

I received a text message yesterday from I friend I haven't seen in months.

Only God knows the fears and questions of my heart as of late: That's how I know that my friend had received a Word from The Lord.

The text she sent:

"So....I had a dream about you the other night...not a big deal or so I thought thanks to crazy pregnancy dreams but God dealt with me this morning to let you know he is going to use you in great ways and that people will be able to feel the fire/power of God through you. Sorry I dismissed this dream as another dream and it took me awhile to tell you but in my defense I have been having some insane dreams lately. Love you and hope all is well!"

Just when I was struggling with the awful  dread that my future, my destiny, was not going to include any more chapters involving Excitement, this came.  

He knows me better than anyone.  I am so thankful that He speaks.  He still speaks.  

Thank God.

Thoughts for the New Year

Lord, I haven't gotten a word for this year.  

Will I get one?

And what am I to fast this year, Lord?

I am waiting to hear from you.

Lord, please forgive me of all my sin.  I have failed you and it hurts my heart.

Amen.

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Thoughts as I rang the New Year in.

Morning Devotion Time: Isaiah 29:13

"Wherefore The Lord said, Forasmuch as this people draw near me with their mouth, and with their lips do honour me, but have removed their heart far from me, and their fear toward me is taught by the precept of men." Isaish 29:13 KJV

"The Lord says, "These people worship me with their mouths, and honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.  Their worship is based on nothing but human rules."  Isaiah 29:13  NCV

Of all the days to start my morning devotions again, the verse of the day on my Bible app is this one--a verse I know I've written a blog about before.  So, instead of going to something else, or using something I may be able to use for the Wednesday night message, I am going to assume that this is no coincidence and seek The Lord for additional insight this morning on this verse.

Clearly, this verse is a reminder to me about how it is not enough to SAY I love The Lord and live for Him; it is not enough to sing it or declare it even, if my HEART is not right (or near) Him.

I also enjoy looking at the difference in the Bible versions here.  I believe that my last reflection of this verse centered on the NCV--but the KJV has a phrase or two of interest that gets dropped by the NCV:

1.  FOR AS MUCH:  "Forasmuch as this people draw near me with their mouth..."  The first word tells us that these people--notably not "my people"--often, frequently draw near to him with their words.  They are not "once a year" churchgoers.  They go often, they declare their honor and love of The Lord, on many occasions.  But there is a problem:  their hearts are not in it.  Or, to be more accurate, their hearts are nowhere NEAR Him.

Are they aware of this?  Do they have any idea that The Lord does not claim them as His own?  Or do they think it's enough to do what they are doing?  

2.  TEACHERS:  "Their fear toward me is taught by the precept of men."  This phrase, also not in the NCV reveals a criticism of the way the people are taught about The Lord--clearly they have been taught or discipled to follow The Lord incorrectly.  It is "Man Centered" instead of "God Centered."  And the people are following what they've been taught and they are being led down a path that SEEMS like they know and follow The Lord, but clearly The Lord says that is not what they are doing.  They are following the ideas of men, not the ideas of God.

It's a fake road, a fake existence.  It is deceptive.  It looks right and may feel right, and may even be--to some or many--their honest attempt to do right, but it's not right.

So....now I am wondering why The Lord has brought me to this verse again this morning, as I begin my  devotions again this year in this format, hoping I can be more disciplined if I use my blog...

I NEED TO BE CAREFUL to seek the approval of God and not the approval of people--whoever they may be.  I need to make sure that what I do is what HE has led me to do.  

He sees us, what we deal with and what we have to work in--the environments and constructs in which we must find a way to serve Him.  Everything we are enmeshed in in this life is a human construct:  our jobs, roles in society, norms, etc.  And to be effective, I must do my best to respect others and make headway in a sometimes limiting environment.  To be more accurate, it is an extremely limiting environment, one of which we are not even often aware.

I NEED TO SEEK HIM.  I need to let these words play over and over in my spirit, as I do not want to be the person in this verse:  someone who is far from Him.  Someone who, in the end, "knocks at the door...and He says, 'Depart from me; I know you not.'"  (Matthew 7:23)

[And sadly...my time is up. Time to get dressed for work.  Much to think about this morning.]

My Prayer:

Lord, You know my heart is to serve You and worship You and spend this life--and the next--with You, in Your presence.  Thank you so much for this reminder and please correct my paths if they need correcting.  Illuminate my wrong-doings; help me to get on Your path--not my own or someone else's. I don't want to be in the good graces of men if it means not being in Your good graces.    

Forasmuch as I honor You, I do not want to "miss You."  Please take my heart and renew it today.  Help me to SEE CLEARLY what You have for me to do, hear, speak, say.  I want to be on the right path TOWARD YOU.  Nothing is as important as pleasing You.  Nothing is as important as living the life you have designed for me.

In Christ's Name, I pray.