Some days the thoughts keep rolling,
I'm half here, half elsewhere.
I can feel the lines flowing,
Feeling for keys my fingers seek
Knowing I will not have to summon
THEM...They are already here.
Thoughts, words, characters,
Assembling in a queue in my mind,
Today and today only
(These halls have been empty
For many months now...)
I need to sneak away...
Before life overwhelms them,
Chases them away;
Before my eyes register the fact
That dishes and laundry
Are not getting done until I
Let them go again...
Can I afford to hide away?
Is there place I can retreat--
A quiet corner somewhere?
(Why must it be one or the other?)
And yet the choice looms:
This life or that one?
Saturday, January 11, 2014
Saturday, December 14, 2013
"I Thought She Was Crazy": An After-Church Compliment
Last Wednesday night after church, on December 11, a man who has been attending our church for a short while had a conversation with my pastor.
"I thought that woman was crazy," he said, matter-of-factly to my pastor. "Now I know she's crazy. Crazy in love with Jesus Christ."
When pastor told me what the man had said, I just smiled.
(I never want to forget it.)
"I thought that woman was crazy," he said, matter-of-factly to my pastor. "Now I know she's crazy. Crazy in love with Jesus Christ."
When pastor told me what the man had said, I just smiled.
(I never want to forget it.)
Friday, November 29, 2013
My Dad's Advice
"If you've ever felt a move of God at all, don't forget to ask Him to move again in your life. Seek Him, always, for what He wants you to do."
Tonight, I had the rare opportunity to talk to my Dad alone. So I asked him about where he thought this nation was headed--and what he thought I ought to do.
"I've asked Stephen, 'Do we need to move?' This nation is rapidly changing, alarmingly changing. I'm not sure, if this keeps progressing, we want our children to grow up here. But what do we do? Where would we go?"
Dad looked at me and answered within seconds.
After reminding me that no human entity or organization can be fully trusted--and that God is ever and always our Source of Truth and Wisdom--he started talking about the story in Judges about Gideon.
God used Gideon mightily, "a mighty man of valor," and he did mighty exploits for The Lord. But after Gideon won the battle with the Lords's help and for the Lord's people, there is no record of him having done anything else. He got a piece of land for his efforts, a house, and begin to have many children and heirs.
Yet Gideon never sought God for what was required after that battle.
Later, after the infamous Gideon story, we learn that all of Gideon's family members are destroyed.
Daddy said, "Gideon knew The Lord, trusted The Lord, did great exploits for The Lord. But why did he stop listening and seeking? Why did he stop knocking? And that's exactly why he had no further exploits" (at least that we can tell in the scripture).
And so, Dad finished by saying that we must never get to the point where we no longer ask, seek, knock on the doors to our Heavenly Father. We must seek His face and ask for His advice before we do anything. We must preserve our relationship with him.
Tonight, I had the rare opportunity to talk to my Dad alone. So I asked him about where he thought this nation was headed--and what he thought I ought to do.
"I've asked Stephen, 'Do we need to move?' This nation is rapidly changing, alarmingly changing. I'm not sure, if this keeps progressing, we want our children to grow up here. But what do we do? Where would we go?"
Dad looked at me and answered within seconds.
After reminding me that no human entity or organization can be fully trusted--and that God is ever and always our Source of Truth and Wisdom--he started talking about the story in Judges about Gideon.
God used Gideon mightily, "a mighty man of valor," and he did mighty exploits for The Lord. But after Gideon won the battle with the Lords's help and for the Lord's people, there is no record of him having done anything else. He got a piece of land for his efforts, a house, and begin to have many children and heirs.
Yet Gideon never sought God for what was required after that battle.
Later, after the infamous Gideon story, we learn that all of Gideon's family members are destroyed.
Daddy said, "Gideon knew The Lord, trusted The Lord, did great exploits for The Lord. But why did he stop listening and seeking? Why did he stop knocking? And that's exactly why he had no further exploits" (at least that we can tell in the scripture).
And so, Dad finished by saying that we must never get to the point where we no longer ask, seek, knock on the doors to our Heavenly Father. We must seek His face and ask for His advice before we do anything. We must preserve our relationship with him.
Lessons from the Wisest Man I Know
My dad is, by far, the wisest man I know.
Growing up, and through adulthood, my dad and I would talk for hours on any variety of subjects--from philosophy and music to politics and spirituality. He himself is a great lecturer, and every time I get a chance to listen to him or talk to him, I realize that my lecturing skills were honed in our great debates of the first three decades of my life. Dad challenged me to think, to consider views he held with which I did not immediately agree. He made me wait and consider my position on a subject because, if I didn't, he would quickly tear my argument to shreds with his experienced logic.
I learned a lot from my dad back in those days. The older I get, though, the more I realize that he was right about so many things, including his predictions years ago about social programs and political and social trends.
I have long suspected that my Dad missed his calling as a professor or lecturer. Or, for those who know him, a calling to be a philosophical rabbi. He is a teacher. The skills he has demonstrated over the years, the way he explains difficult/philosophical/spiritual subject matter in a way anybody could understand, have been incorporated into the very core fibre of my being. I am the teacher I am because of him.
Since I've been married, though, I haven't had much of an opportunity to talk to him about any of the things we used to talk about. These days, there are always people around us, husband or kids or other family members, and it's hard to get his individual attention. He is a very proud and engaged "Grandpa" who puts our kids FIRST. And that's just how it should be: it's their turn!
If I get a chance to talk to my Dad alone, it is a rare gift, indeed. And because I don't often get this opportunity, I find myself at a loss in determining which topic to address. How do I determine what is MOST important?
Tonight, I had the rare opportunity to sit with him and talk alone. In the five to ten minutes we had, I jumped on the opportunity to ask him about a spiritual matter which had been troubling me of late.
His answer floored me.
I told him he needed a YouTube channel where he talked about important topics of modern relevance. I really wish everyone could hear my Dad speak. He's amazing!
Truly, he is the wisest man I know.
Growing up, and through adulthood, my dad and I would talk for hours on any variety of subjects--from philosophy and music to politics and spirituality. He himself is a great lecturer, and every time I get a chance to listen to him or talk to him, I realize that my lecturing skills were honed in our great debates of the first three decades of my life. Dad challenged me to think, to consider views he held with which I did not immediately agree. He made me wait and consider my position on a subject because, if I didn't, he would quickly tear my argument to shreds with his experienced logic.
I learned a lot from my dad back in those days. The older I get, though, the more I realize that he was right about so many things, including his predictions years ago about social programs and political and social trends.
I have long suspected that my Dad missed his calling as a professor or lecturer. Or, for those who know him, a calling to be a philosophical rabbi. He is a teacher. The skills he has demonstrated over the years, the way he explains difficult/philosophical/spiritual subject matter in a way anybody could understand, have been incorporated into the very core fibre of my being. I am the teacher I am because of him.
Since I've been married, though, I haven't had much of an opportunity to talk to him about any of the things we used to talk about. These days, there are always people around us, husband or kids or other family members, and it's hard to get his individual attention. He is a very proud and engaged "Grandpa" who puts our kids FIRST. And that's just how it should be: it's their turn!
If I get a chance to talk to my Dad alone, it is a rare gift, indeed. And because I don't often get this opportunity, I find myself at a loss in determining which topic to address. How do I determine what is MOST important?
Tonight, I had the rare opportunity to sit with him and talk alone. In the five to ten minutes we had, I jumped on the opportunity to ask him about a spiritual matter which had been troubling me of late.
His answer floored me.
I told him he needed a YouTube channel where he talked about important topics of modern relevance. I really wish everyone could hear my Dad speak. He's amazing!
Truly, he is the wisest man I know.
Tuesday, November 26, 2013
The Song on My Heart Tonight
Tonight, after feeling led to read chapter three of Daniel, I attempted to let all of the meanings and messages in that chapter soak in. (I literally LOVE soaking up the Word of God! I wish I could sit all day and let it saturate every pore of my mind and spirit!)
As I thought about how I really need to invest some future quality devotion time into the further contemplation and dissection of this chapter, a song's chorus began to bubble forth in my consciousness.
Here's the chorus:
"But I know Whom I have believed
And am persuaded that He is able
To keep that which I've committed
Unto Him against that day."
This chapter reminds me that I can totally TRUST GOD. There is NOTHING too big, too demanding, too impossible for my God. He can intervene, save, miraculously and masterfully manipulate the "laws" of our planet if He so desires. Anytime. And anywhere.
If He intervenes, He is still my God.
If He doesn't intervene, He is still my God.
He can and WILL do what is RIGHT.
But if I come out of this breathing, alive, I will come out PRAISING HIM because HE DID IT. He enabled me to walk out of the fire unscathed. The "heat" turned up in this world, in this hectic political/social environment in which we frustratingly find ourselves enmeshed is nothing MY GOD can't handle. And not just that, no. It's inconsequential.
I TRUST YOU, LORD. FOR EVERYTHING AND IN EVERYTHING.
Amen.
As I thought about how I really need to invest some future quality devotion time into the further contemplation and dissection of this chapter, a song's chorus began to bubble forth in my consciousness.
Here's the chorus:
"But I know Whom I have believed
And am persuaded that He is able
To keep that which I've committed
Unto Him against that day."
This chapter reminds me that I can totally TRUST GOD. There is NOTHING too big, too demanding, too impossible for my God. He can intervene, save, miraculously and masterfully manipulate the "laws" of our planet if He so desires. Anytime. And anywhere.
If He intervenes, He is still my God.
If He doesn't intervene, He is still my God.
He can and WILL do what is RIGHT.
But if I come out of this breathing, alive, I will come out PRAISING HIM because HE DID IT. He enabled me to walk out of the fire unscathed. The "heat" turned up in this world, in this hectic political/social environment in which we frustratingly find ourselves enmeshed is nothing MY GOD can't handle. And not just that, no. It's inconsequential.
I TRUST YOU, LORD. FOR EVERYTHING AND IN EVERYTHING.
Amen.
Friday, November 15, 2013
Life-Changing Saturday: The Credentialing Ceremony
Tomorrow is the big day.
After two years of study and testing, Stephen and I will be receiving our Licenses through the Assemblies of God.
Tomorrow is a spiritually monumental day for us.
---------------------------------------------------
After two years of study and testing, Stephen and I will be receiving our Licenses through the Assemblies of God.
Tomorrow is a spiritually monumental day for us.
---------------------------------------------------
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
Project Gideon 2014: We ARE Going!
Yesterday in the office, I sat at my desk to compose my letter to the Project Gideon coordinator which detailed why we would be unable to attend the PG conference in February.
"I'm so sorry to have to write this..." I began, thinking about how I was going to admit in writing our lack of finances to attend this year's conference.
The words spilled out onto the screen.
"With all that is going on right now in our lives, we simply cannot budget this trip."
This summer, we took the missions trip of a lifetime to Florence, Italy, for 25 days. While it was AMAZING, and we had an amazing time and would go back in a heartbeat if God allowed, it really drained our resources. We are still recovering from that trip, financially. It takes time to have "extra" funds available again.
As I wrote the letter, I didn't want them to think that we were blowing off the conference, that it meant so little to us. I felt this urgency to express to them how much this conference had meant to Stephen and to myself.
"This conference has changed our lives," I said at one point. "Bishop Jakes has been a source of great inspiration to us." At another time, I referred to him as our "spiritual mentor" and "father figure."
And he is. He has been all of those things to us. Over two years ago, God directed me to that conference supernaturally. (Please read my first entry of this blog for more information.) We were DESTINED to attend that conference. Both years we have been, we have been encouraged, challenged, uplifted in Bishop's conference session.
Money could never BUY what we have experienced at that conference. It's a profoundly impacting, life-altering experience and opportunity.
"We are being Licensed as Assemblies of God ministers this Saturday, and I'm not sure we would have ever finished that labor and money intensive goal without having had the opportunity to be mentored at this conference for the past two years."
We don't have the money. We really don't.
We are getting licensed this weekend, and I would really like to have a new suit to wear. I'd really like to stay at a hotel with my family the night before. But it'll be okay. I know it will. I am trusting God for the gas and food money that will be required for the trip. I know He will provide.
But as I sat there, thinking that this coming weekend would be far easier if I didn't pay our tuition to the PG conference, that we could go in style and stay the night and wake up fresh the next morning and not have to worry about getting up and into the car and out of town in time to get there, tears started spilling out of my eyes and down my face.
"How can this be right," I asked myself. "How can this be the right thing to do if I'm sitting here crying, like I've lost something important to me?"
No. We had to go.
So I sent the PG coordinator the information she needed to keep our reservations.
Because some things in life are too important. They are VITAL for our survival. And we must trust GOD to provide.
He is the one who opened that miraculous door two years ago. There is no way we could have gotten in otherwise.
God put us in the company of great people for a reason.
I know that I know that I know that we are supposed to be there.
Project Gideon 2014: WE ARE GOING!!!!
"I'm so sorry to have to write this..." I began, thinking about how I was going to admit in writing our lack of finances to attend this year's conference.
The words spilled out onto the screen.
"With all that is going on right now in our lives, we simply cannot budget this trip."
This summer, we took the missions trip of a lifetime to Florence, Italy, for 25 days. While it was AMAZING, and we had an amazing time and would go back in a heartbeat if God allowed, it really drained our resources. We are still recovering from that trip, financially. It takes time to have "extra" funds available again.
As I wrote the letter, I didn't want them to think that we were blowing off the conference, that it meant so little to us. I felt this urgency to express to them how much this conference had meant to Stephen and to myself.
"This conference has changed our lives," I said at one point. "Bishop Jakes has been a source of great inspiration to us." At another time, I referred to him as our "spiritual mentor" and "father figure."
And he is. He has been all of those things to us. Over two years ago, God directed me to that conference supernaturally. (Please read my first entry of this blog for more information.) We were DESTINED to attend that conference. Both years we have been, we have been encouraged, challenged, uplifted in Bishop's conference session.
Money could never BUY what we have experienced at that conference. It's a profoundly impacting, life-altering experience and opportunity.
"We are being Licensed as Assemblies of God ministers this Saturday, and I'm not sure we would have ever finished that labor and money intensive goal without having had the opportunity to be mentored at this conference for the past two years."
We don't have the money. We really don't.
We are getting licensed this weekend, and I would really like to have a new suit to wear. I'd really like to stay at a hotel with my family the night before. But it'll be okay. I know it will. I am trusting God for the gas and food money that will be required for the trip. I know He will provide.
But as I sat there, thinking that this coming weekend would be far easier if I didn't pay our tuition to the PG conference, that we could go in style and stay the night and wake up fresh the next morning and not have to worry about getting up and into the car and out of town in time to get there, tears started spilling out of my eyes and down my face.
"How can this be right," I asked myself. "How can this be the right thing to do if I'm sitting here crying, like I've lost something important to me?"
No. We had to go.
So I sent the PG coordinator the information she needed to keep our reservations.
Because some things in life are too important. They are VITAL for our survival. And we must trust GOD to provide.
He is the one who opened that miraculous door two years ago. There is no way we could have gotten in otherwise.
God put us in the company of great people for a reason.
I know that I know that I know that we are supposed to be there.
Project Gideon 2014: WE ARE GOING!!!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)