October Musing: A Poem

Mid-way through October.
God is stirring hearts in our home;
The lake, which has rested placidly,
Is now stirring with movement.

Yes, He is stirring the waters.

Timings are aligning,
There are new words of encouragement;
His Word is illuminating not just our steps
But, now, our paths.

Yes, we can see a trail ahead.

Prayers for this newness,
This leg of the journey;
Whether this be a new chapter
Or a season change.

Yes, He makes all things new.

Getting under His umbrella,
Making sure we are in alignment--
Prayers that intimate an unwillingness
To do any of this without His help.

Yes, He must walk with us.

This is the month of illumination,
Glimpsing what may lie ahead;
This is the month of divine appointment,
Knowing all has been for what awaits ahead.

Yes, we will follow You, Immanuel.

"Ten Years with This Man": Thoughts and an Exciting Announcement!

So...in just a matter of days, Stephen and I celebrate TEN YEARS together, as a married couple, on September 1st.

It's insane to me, when I stop to think about it, how quickly these ten years have gone by!

We have a nine-year-old together; we've bought a house together. We've been in ministry together this entire time. We've gone on mission trips and had many adventures! There have been times, too, rough times, when the relationship was "rough the road," as they say. But we've made it! With God's help and faith and favor, we have made it!

I am so thankful to God for my marriage--and all of the other life blessings He has gifted us with!

And...I've been wanting to give God praise about something in particular that is on the calendar for this fall...and I had a moment to spare and thought I would share it with you all!

Something rather miraculous happened in our finances, and Stephen and I have booked a trip to ROME, ITALY, in November, to celebrate our 10th ANNIVERSARY!!!

We are going for three and a half days, and we couldn't be more excited! (Though I'm actually the WAY MORE EXCITED one! Ha!)

It's just us, and we are getting to go on a tour of the Sistine Chapel and the Colosseum and the Trevi Fountains! Then, we get to run around together and just take a VACAY in one of our Dream Destinations!

I can't express how excited I am about this God-given opportunity!

I never want to forget this. Ever.

GOD DID THIS. He smiled on us, opened the doors, made all of this possible.

(And I mean this with all of my heart! This wouldn't be happening without HIM!)

My Power Verse for the Moment

So...

There are Bible verses that come at JUST THE RIGHT TIME, and they seem to encapsulate the human experience, mine in particular! Ha! THIS IS THE VERSE I have been reminded of, that I can't stop thinking about, because I know I NEED THIS, and I KNOW ITS TRUTH!

It's Deuteronomy 31:8, and in the NIV, it says it this way:

The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.

And...I know I can make it another day, week, year.

Because He is with me. He will not leave me or forsake me. HE GOES BEFORE ME!!! I will not be afraid or discouraged!!!

Musings at the end of August

Wow! What a roller coaster it has been!

I knew it would be, with everything going on--but it was, it certainly was!

So...what has been accomplished:

KIDS CAMP:

Uber-exhausting (primarily due to the heat and daily schedules) but also mind-blowingly INCREDIBLE (watching the girls spiritually GROW and worship and pray for one another!) The night before we went home, we had such a special time with the girls. They had so many questions about the Bible and living for the Lord. I was surprised at their depth and compassion. I was impressed with their love for the Word of God--many of them showed me verses they had underlined during devotion times prior to camp. That night, we got in a big circle and prayed for one another, anointing each other with oil. Later that night, when they were supposed to be going to sleep, I heard one of the girls say she was scared. I paused a moment because I could hear the other girls' voices, encouraging her, and then the tap-tap-tap of their little feet across the floor. I got up carefully and peeked around the corner to see them all in the bed with the little girl, praying with her so she wouldn't be scared. And I went back to bed with the biggest smile and feeling of peace. This week had been worth it. Sweat, absolute bodily exhaustion, frustration, fury (at ill-mannered students and the sponsors who allowed them to be!)--all of it ebbed away at what I saw with my own eyes that the Lord had done.

I wouldn't say this to anyone, but if they needed me next year? Oh, for sure. I'd go.

WEEK-LONG INTERIM CLASS:

I had such a great interim class with the 26-or-so kids who enrolled in Speech 1113 that week. It was such a positive atmosphere. You could feel the Lord moving. Interims are very long weeks--exhaustive in mind and body due to the very long hours necessitated. And, you know, life outside of school doesn't stop. So, I spoke that Wednesday night, of course, and attended Raylee's 15th birthday party that Thursday night, and then packed all day Saturday for the trip out to Anaheim that started on Sunday. At the end of class, I had so many great kids tell me THANK YOU, and that meant a lot. Looking back, I can say that I don't know how I managed to get it all done. But the truth is that I DIDN'T DO IT BY MYSELF. And I can honestly say that I know that I know that THE LORD WAS WITH ME. Through it all.

Something kind of incredible happened during the interim week--so I'll make that announcement on my next entry!

NATIONAL FINE ARTS:

We drove in a brand new church van to Anaheim, CA, during the following dates: August 6-13. Before we left, on two occasions, we gathered and prayed over the van before we left on the trip--and I've got to bear witness to the fact that He kept His hand on us on the journey many times (that I know of!)! There were times I literally saw Him assist us. So many traffic issues alone--He gave us travelling mercies on the entire journey!

God spoke to me many times on this journey, and I even spoke three times at church (after we got back) about many of the things he downloaded into my spirit during this journey. I hope I never forget all of the things he has shown me.

SCHOOL STARTING (and ever since):

Fall Semester 2017 began the day after our return. To say that I was exhausted is an understatement. Still, the Lord has provided. That Wednesday night, I had prepared a message and didn't give it due to the Girls' Ministries promotion service. The Lord ministered in the limited time we had, through the worship service. We all needed it--me, included! Then, Friday afternoon, I received a text that Pastor Keith needed me to speak on Sunday a.m.--and we have two morning services on Sunday! So...Saturday was Psalmie's 9th birthday party at Books-a-Million, and that night, I stayed up and begged the Lord to put His words in my mouth, to show me a fresh word for the people. God came through AGAIN! Although two services is difficult for me (perhaps I will blog about this sometime later), I felt His hand POWERFULLY in the first service. In the second, too, people told me they received a Word from the Lord. And that's what it's all about. That Sunday afternoon, I went to Sallisaw and judged Company Dance auditions for my dear friend, Jordan Riggs.

And then...we were off again, into another week...

And the Lord himself goes before me...

It's June...Busy, Busy June...

This summer has been one of the busiest on record--or at least it feels like it!

And the end of summer will be absolutely HECTIC.

The weeks leading up to the Fall Semester include going to Children's Camp with Psalm, teaching an interim speech class, and then road tripping to Anaheim with my family and the National Fine Arts team. In that order. (I don't know what condition I'll be in on the first day of classes that Monday after we return from Anaheim...but I'm sure it'll be INTERESTING! Ha!)

Until then, I'm teaching two days a week, coming in to the office to grade 1-2 days a week, attending church and family events on other dates and most weekends...And I've found time to go to the gym on Tuesdays and Thursdays! I hope I can keep that up during the next semester!

When I think about this summer--all of it--I can't help but be immensely grateful.

I'm spending time with my daughter every day (she voluntarily comes to class with me on Mondays and Wednesdays, and I FULLY REALIZE my time with her is limited). I'm getting to go to church camp with her! I'll get to go to Disneyland with her and ride the "Small World" ride with her, as my mother did with me 30-some-odd years ago! I love making memories with her!

She makes me supremely happy.

Right now, as I write this, I can see her swiveling in her chair, listening to something play on the computer while I wait for students to turn in their assignment for the day. I love seeing her. I suppose it's a mom thing, but I try to steal glances at her because I know she is growing up so fast, so incredibly fast, and I want to try to capture these memories so I can think back on them later...

My Homegoing: Thoughts and Wishes

Nobody wants to do this.

And I don't know WHY I'm doing this, other than the fact that my grandfather has been ill--Poppa--and we have been discussing his wishes for his home-going, should that happen any time soon. And maybe it has something to do with the fact that a student told me that one of her relatives who is my age died suddenly from a blood clot that moved and went to her brain. We do not know when it is our time.

I wouldn't worry about it, either, except there are some things I WANT for my own Homegoing, and these are things I fear won't happen unless I specifically say, "THIS is what I want in my Home-going Celebration."

So, here it goes, my current list (started 4/4/17, updated 1/28/19 and updated as needed) of wants for my Homegoing.

1. I want it called a "Homegoing Celebration." I do NOT want it referred to as a Funeral.
2. I want songs sung and played that are uplifting and that reflect who I have become in Christ. (After all, because of my relationship with Jesus, I will be WITH HIM. And this is anything but a sad thing.)
3. A specific song I want sung (by Aaron Williams and Cathy Williams, if they are available) is "The Happy Song." "The Happy Song," I hope it will be noted, is one of my favorite of all-time because IT NEVER ENDS. Rest assured, my praise for what Christ has done for and in me will NEVER end, either.
4. I want someone to discuss how I found myself, my identity, who I truly am in Him, in HIS WORD and in PRAISE. (And I want people to have an opportunity to re/connect to Christ so they, too, can have this FREEDOM IN CHRIST. The tone of the message must reflect the FREEDOM and GRACE and LOVE He gives).
5. I want someone (or more than one, those closest to me) to sprinkle glitter on me in my coffin. I know this sounds a bit bizarre, but I have ALWAYS loved to sparkle, and I want to be sparkling in the grave until He comes to get my body. (If this thing goes down like we think it will, my body will be resurrected, and I want there to be a trail of glitter as I go to meet Him...I am totally NOT KIDDING.) And, if he quickens my body and takes me, leaving my bones in the grave, no matter. My bones are still sparkling.) ANOTHER THING: Please make sure the glitter is PRETTY and GIRLY. I would like to think someone is using rose and purple and gold and silver glitter!
6. I want people to have the opportunity to tell funny stories and serious stories. No judgment.
7. I want people to pray for my family--especially my husband, Stephen, and my daughter, Psalm. I want people to commit to loving my family--especially Psalm, assuring her of the Goodness of God and His Plan for my life and for hers. I need Covenant Church people to commit to interceding for them, and especially for Psalm. My step-daughters, Allie and Raylee, feel things very deeply. Please pray for them, too.
8. I would like there to be a worship service. Where people can stand. ALSO: Songs that mean a lot to me that I would love to include in the Homegoing Celebration: "The Blood will Never Lose its Power"; "I've Just Seen Jesus" (you can play the video of Sandi Patty and Larnelle Harris).
9. I want my family and friends to have preferred seating. (The Williams Family--Keith, Cathy, Aaron, and Josh--and Dana Dinsmore Davis, Paula Reif, Norma Hall, Wanda Harris, Bill/Judy/Megan Day and Roz Newby are my FAMILY. They need to sit with my biological family). My Covenant Church Family and my CASC Family, should all have preferred seating but EVERYONE should know that I love them and GREATLY APPRECIATE THEM.
10. I would love for people to hug each other on the way out and say, "You are Special" and "God Loves You," OR "God made you Special and He Loves you VERY MUCH" (from Veggie Tales) to one another as they leave.

I mean, who really wants to spend time thinking about such things? Me, either. So...on to LIFE and LIVING!

I am thankful for this opportunity! Every day is a BLESSING!

Pre-Lent Fasting: Breaking Through Walls in 2017

I suppose it started with the corporate fast Pastor Keith called at Covenant Church in January.

He called us to fast and food fast for a week.

In my fast, I did the following:

1. Started my MediFast diet plan, for a healthier life--& I am already seeing the results.
2. I stopped watching live TV & fasted Law & Order (I would come home and watch as many episodes that they would play, hour after hour.)
3. I started watching Bishop Jakes AT LEAST once a day and set my DVR to also record Christine Caine and Beth Moore.
4. I fasted Facebook and all social media.

When the week ended, I could already tell my spiritual life was being immediately impacted for the better. So I didn't want to stop.

I've stepped up my Bible reading, and I can feel His anointing on me, in an increased way.

Why would I want to go back?

Although, at times, I wonder if I have done the right thing in fasting social media (I now only get on minimally)--I am missing birthdays and wedding announcements and other cool moments in my friends' lives--but then I think about the trade-off, about how much easier it is to CONNECT with the Lord, to read the Word and feel like I don't have to pray through every time I open it to read it, to pray for people and feel His anointing flow through my vessel into someone else's.

To be closer to God, THAT is my heart. And that is why this fast will continue, for as long as He leads and moves in such ways.

For me, there is no questions about it: MORE OF GOD is my heart's desire.