A Spoken Word and Prayer

A friend of mine stayed after church tonight to talk to me for a few moments about what God is doing in her life.  While we were talking, we noticed two of our friends praying in the corner of the church, and it was powerful.  So, as the fervor grew, and they would talk some and pray some, we didn't want our conversation to become a distraction--though it, too, was declaring the Praises of Almighty God--and we started praying for them.

In moments, the Holy Spirit broke free in both of our prayers and He started speaking to me directly through my friend.  I knew it was the Holy Spirit.  Knew it.  

Although it has now been over an hour and a half ago, I am going to do my best to record what was spoken over me in hopes that I never forget what God has spoken to me tonight.

One thing my friend said was that the waters are stirring.  (I could feel the stirring around me, almost a cushion of wind surrounding me, and it felt like it was moving.)

Another:  That I had stepped from shallow waters into a deeper depth.

(In between each of these statements, she would praise Him in her prayer language, and then speak again.)

Another:  You have an increase of anointing.  It is upon you, but not only upon you.  It is upon your whole family.

Another:  Your stage is getting bigger, taller.  (She motioned with her hand making reference to the height of the stage.) For the Glory of Almighty God.  

(Before I go on, I need to add that while this woman is a dear friend of mine, we have not had the closest relationship lately and she has no idea what I'm going through, struggling with, etc.  This is important because what she said next was Divinely Given knowledge.

She said:  You have been struggling against Negativity (she brushed my back, as if wiping something off of it), It is gone.  (She later said that there had been "dark waters" but they were there no more).

She said:  You have said things at home, in Anger (she brushed my back, again, in the same manner); No more.

She said: You have doubted God about your calling (again, she brushed my back, in the same manner); It is gone.  No more fear.  No more doubt.

She said:  You are humble. (Something about how I am a servant-minded person, though that is not how she said it).  That is why God is going to lift you up.

By the time my friend had stopped talking, I had fallen into a prayer position at the pew and was crying before The Lord.  She had no idea how The Lord had used her, but He had.  There was no doubt in my mind, and I knew that I had heard from Him this night.

I felt compelled to record this here.

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As I sit in bed, typing this, I wanted to be certain that I mention what happened yesterday. I went to church to drop off the electric bills and I ended up talking to my pastor about an incredible revival he and his son had gone to.  At this place, his son had received a Word from The Lord from a total stranger. I was tempted to go to the revival the next night (he had mentioned they were going), but I needed to order Psalm's cakes and I knew the rest of the family was tired and we didn't really have the time, energy, or gas money to go.

I remember thinking how much I wished I could receive a Word from The Lord like that, in such a way that you KNOW that you KNOW that The Lord Himself has spoken because nobody knows what's going on inside of you.  Except for God.  

And I must give Him praise right now, for hearing my heart's cry and answering my prayers.

Prayer of Praise:

Thank you, Lord, for answering my heart's need and cry for a Word from You.  "Like the deer panteth for the water, so my soul pants for you."  I needed you so badly, Lord.  Thank you for meeting me in my need, in my place. Thank you for delivering me from evil.  Thank you for caring enough to send my friend by with a Word from You.  I cannot EXPRESS how much I love you for EVERY LITTLE THING, EVERY LITTLE DETAIL that You attend to.  "Who is God that He is mindful of me?"  Thank you so much, Creator of the Universe.  I love you with ALL of my heart!  Amen.

Facebook Post This Morning

People often share their hearts with the world on Facebook. I am one of those people who believe that, all too often, people share more than they need to. But then there are times when you read something that breaks your heart, for whatever reason.

The following Facebook post--copied and posted here with zero editing or corrections--caught my attention this morning. It disturbed me enough to respond and then chronicle it all here, on my blog. The woman who posted this is, if I remember correctly, somewhere around ten years older than I (and I turn 43 in a couple of months).

Her Post:

"you know it is really sad when you go into a eating establishment and people make fun of you. well it happened to me today I went to see my son at work and a man made fun of me for the way I looked and told me I was contagious and that really hurt my feelings. let me just say im not contagious imjust getting older so if you don't like the way I look turn your head. my husband and both of my kids don't care how I look on the outside what matters in on the inside. some people are hateful. just had to get this off of my chest . . . "

My Response:

"That is just BIZARRE. But, in my short time on this planet, I have determined that those who do and say things like this are among the most miserable of God's creatures. For whatever reason, they have not found peace with God and/or with themselves, and they project their own self-loathing upon others. As a Child of God, it hurts when ppl treat us this way, but deeeeeeep down, we feel Him speaking to us: We are Children of the Most High God; we are LOVED, ACCEPTED, EMPOWERED, and we are BEAUTIFUL in His sight and in our own right! You ARE beautiful, sister. Keep your chin up and KEEP ROCKIN' IT!!!"

Ephesians 3:20: The Promise of 2014

"With God’s power working in us, God can do much, much more than anything we can ask or imagine." --Ephesians 3:20, NCV

Last November, the Lord impressed upon my spirit that this verse, found in Ephesians 3:20, would be MY verse for the coming year, which is this year, 2014.

I really must say first that I am not one of those people who finds the BEST verse in the Bible, complete with blessings galore, to declare that "God Said" over my life. But I really felt Him speaking to me, that THIS would be my Ephesians 3:20 year.

Sidenote: I DO declare His promises and blessings over my life, those that are in the Word, but I don't add other statements (like, "God said THIS will be my year of blessing!") if I didn't get a direct word from Him.

We are midway through this year, and I can honestly tell you that I have seen Ephesians 3:20 in my life. And I want to record it here, so I won't forget what He has said and what He has done.

As I type this right now, I am sitting at the kitchen table of our new house--emphasis on OUR. For the first time in my life, I "own" my own home, as opposed to "renting." Though I do not declare negative statements over my life, I can honestly say that my sitting here, in this phenomenal home on this phenomenal property, is nothing short of a miracle.

I know what God has done.

When we sat there, signing the final "closing" documents, I noted the company: my husband, Psalm, the lady from the mortgage company, our lady realtor, and the lady from the abstract office. And, as I was signing page after page, I listened to them discussing their various churches. And I thought, "Thank you, God. You've placed me in the company of your kids."

Everything went smoothly--from the first initial bidding for the house to the moment they gave us the keys to now, as I write this.

I am utterly blown away by God.



Prayer of Thanksgiving: Thank you, Lord, for loving me. For loving all of your children and taking care of us. Thank you for speaking to us, walking with us, through all of life's struggles and victories. Thank you for being true to your Word and your Promises. Thank you, most, for your presence. And for patience and forgiveness when we just fail to "get it." We praise you for Who You Are. Because You are worthy of praise. My heart sings for You. My feet dance for You. My arms wave for You. My spirit rejoices in You. Always and forever, may the Lord God Almighty be praised.

Amen.

"My Journey; God's Plan": Notes from Joycelyn Barnett's Sermon 060314

Notes from Joycelyn Barnett

"My Journey; God's Plan"

Church of God Campmeeting/Heartland Region

June 3, 2014

Texts:

Psalm 31:15a

Genesis 32:22+

--Verse that captures my attention.

--31:15a "My times are in thy hand..."

--My life is in His hand

--NET:  You determine my destiny

--Gen. 32:22

--Journey--culminates, chapter, season in life of Jacob

--"And Jacob rose up that night and took 2 wives and 2 women servants, 11 sons and passed over the ford...And he took them and sent them over the brook and sent over that he had.  And Jacob was left alone."

--It has taken God 21 years to get Jacob by himself

--Surrounded by Leah, Rachel, multitude, other wives, Laban's ppl, cattle, everything else.  

--God had a greater plan for him.

--God does not always release his plan when you are operating on your plan.

--Esau--must meet old adversary; sinned against him; afraid of what will happen

--"There wrestled a man with him till breaking of day; did not prevail.  Touched thigh, out of joint.  He said, "Let me go!"  "I will not let thee go unless thou bless me.  Thou name shall be Israel." Tell me thy name?  Why ask after my name?  And he blessed him there. For I have seen God face to face.  And my life is preserved."

--My Journey, God's plan

--Every season of our life is an unfolding of plan uniquely ordered by God from very beginning.  There's no plan we have engineered.  God has in some way or other ordered it from the beginning.

--Diff to fathom unmatched power and wisdom of God.

--He has perfect knowledge of all of His creation.

--Takes that knowledge and maps out individual plan for our lives and calls it destiny.

--Generic;  predetermined course of events beyond our control.  Beyond our power.  We cannot direct it on our own. God determined course, life course, times.  Our future is in his hands.

--This journey is invisible.  I'm living it but I can't see it.  No roadmaps, signs.

--Must live, stay connected and stay on course.

--I can't touch destiny, can't put hand on it and say "This is what it is."  Imperceptible, impenetrable, irresistible.

--I'm moving in direction and I don't know how I got there:  Because he had a plan.

--My times are in His hands.

--I'm living in the unfolding of a predetermined journey.  The journey unfolds before me.

Jeremiah 1:5:  Before I formed thee, I knew you.  While you kicked in the womb, I appointed you to be a prophet to the nation.

--Baby and God says you're a prophet

"And we know that all things work together..." Romans 8:28+   (He called, predestinated)

--Jer. 29:  I know the thoughts I think to you...  

--Talking to a nation complaining.  Settle down.  Stay there, build houses and have kids you're gonna be here for a little while.  They are of peace and not evil.  I am bringing you to expected end.

--You have a HOPE.  YOu have a FUTURE.

--Destiny:  Greatness and Nobility as course of life unfolds

--We are destined for favor, life, health, deliverance and for freedom. God has already destined that I will make it.  No weapon formed against me shall prosper.

--We only have past pieces of destiny to relate to.  We have a noble end we can't see.

--what links past to present and present to future?  TRANSITION

--I'm in journey toward my destiny

--transition:  changing from one state to another--to and from--cocoon to butterfly

(journey)

--We are always in some level of transition--from infancy on to adulthood.

--He gives us only glimpses along the way.

--We complain and fuss--God:  I'm not moved by all of that.  Because HE KNOWS the way we take.  God:  complete comprehension

--Job 1, has all.  Job 2: wiped away  Job 3:  HELL  Needs a conference with God. What's going on?  I'm doing the best I know how!  Paying tithes.  I don't understand this level of the plan.

--Job:  I couldn't' find him.  After this trial, I will be as pure gold.

--When God puts his hand on you.  On the journey, he can't leave you in same condition he met you.  He has to prepare you for where you're going.  He has to change things in you to make room for who you are called to be.

--Praise Him for the times of trouble--that we must get through.  After a while, Jesus will fix me/it.

--"God is making you on this journey." Person I was is not who I used to be.  

--He had to do some work on me, fix me up.  I was not prepared to step into his perfect will.  

--He works on our character in transition.  He's working on our character.  The decisions we make.  [Esau, Judas--bad decisions.  Never completed their journey]. He works on our desires while we move toward his plan [Samson].  Can't step into fullness of His plan when you have struggles in desire areas.  We have a damaged church.  

--God must break yokes.  Things that plague you that no one else knows.  

--Some of us say "Yes, Lord," others, "Not now."

--We must let God work.  He will send somebody to speak to you.  Holy Ghost in our midst that has ability to speak to you and say, STOP IT.

--While in transition.  We must get help.  

--God has to sanctify the way we do the things we do for him.

--We cannot walk into God's plan with struggles of flesh and man

--You cannot step into the plan until you come to the end of yourself.

--He's working on your conscience.  Are you an accuser?  How do you look at moral issues?  If not careful, we will think and talk like this world.

--God must deal with us as the church.  He must deal with us ethically.  How we feel about certain things.

--Spirit of Homosexuality has decided to perpetrate throughout churches: same sex couple broke up after 20 years, one woman killed the other, the kid and tried to kill the other.  They go to metro church; pastor a lady; preached about sacrifice of Isaac.  Lady said God spoke to her to do the same.  We have conscience issues.  Ethic issues.  Holy Ghost is trying to grab hold of us:  I have a plan.  I know what I have in store for you, but you are not in place.  Have to be in transition, route.  Dealing with calling, summons to ministry.  How steadfast, submissive committed, how much do I want to serve him?

--Personal testimony:  I backslid.  Went so far out there, it is by grace of God I came back.  My Journey--God's plan.

--It was an inheritance I didn't want.  I wanted something else.  Drugs, alcoholic.  My first son not saved, birthed out of spirit of rebellion.  I didn't want God's plan.  I had my own idea.  I believe God is a God who will have his own way.  One day.  I believe he called my name and sent angels and said, IT"S TIME.  He has a way of delivering.  Set free.  From power of darkness.  God stepped in and set you free.

--It was his plan for me to stand in the pulpit., unadulterated gospel of Jesus Christ.  no devil in hell will stop the will of God.

--Where are you taking me, God?

--I believe there's something more for me to be doing!  (I was mad!  I had Jesus but I was mad, and not submitted.)

--One afternoon, I was fussing.  Nobody on floor but me.  I heard audible voice of God saying, "When are you gonna give me the reigns of your life?" 

--Control.  I'm the one in charge of this.

--Experience in the hallway I'll never forget.  If you want me to push this cart till Jesus comes back, I'll say yes.  Wherever he was taking me would require submission, serving, obedience. This period of the journey, He works on you.  Some of us fight him.  Some don't and submit.  Where does this transition take us?  Face to face collision with God before I can put on majesty of my destiny.

--Can't move into destiny until you know this God face to face.  You can know about him, praise, dance and never really know Him. Jacob knew about covenant, knew stories, father, history...but never really knew God.

--Look at his journey.  Wants birthright and blessing.  Marries 2 wives, conflict and struggle, kids don't know what's going on.  Laying foundation for 12 tribes. God is doing all of this but Jacob still doesn't know.  Suddenly God appeals to him:  move.

--God gets him to a place...He will take you to a place where he says I want you to meet me and know me so you will stop fighting.  So you'll say YES, Lord.

--No more just you wandering in vast area wondering what's going on.

--It's taken all his life to get there, taking detours, distractions, deception.  I'm not moved until you meet me.  At end of human ingenuity.  He can't devise another plan.  He's been a trickster all his life and he can't figure out how to trick God.  He wrestled.  

--Imagine God wrestling with you?  Should he have to struggle with us like that?  Should he have to break us like that before we say thy will be done?  Why does he allow the struggle?  He's got to get revolt out of you.  Get "I don't want to..." Our will.  Our refusals.  Doubts.

--You know what wrestling cost me?  Stillborn 9 month baby.  Because of my refusal.  

--My life was set.  (I thought)

--I'm gonna be Betty Crocker II.  God, didn't you hear what they said?  

--Stillborn child.  No one came to visit me except Catholic nun.  "I don't know why but I believe God has a plan for your life."

--2 weeks before:  revival, preacher called me up, 

--He's an infinite God; works out our finite life to bring us into perfect plan.

--Until the revolt, resentment is gone.  

--I was a teacher, loved teaching.  Going to be principal.  We have a school for you. Coordinator.  Not God's plan.

--I was on every committee.  He says, "Go full time in ministry."  WHAT?!?

--Surely, you jest, Lord.

--I started compromising with The Lord.  Let me work one more year.

--Surely, you didn't mean for me to go full time...

--I told God, "Nuh-uh.  We've got to work on this."

--Next year, stripped of every position, put in back of school, teaching in worst room with worst kids, three times a day.

--By the time June came around, I was "Yes, Lord."

--He had to get the revolt out of me.

--You cannot step into the will of God with resentment and revolt. 

--God had a great plan for Jacob, founded a nation called by his name.  

--After he deals with you, brings us to a place of reconciliation.  And we say, "Yes, God."

--He doesn't want to wrestle with us anymore.

--"Now bless me."  Now I need something greater than what I can do on my own. I will not let go until you bless me.

--The person you are after is NOT the person you were when you started this journey.

--It's a real agony to really surrender in prayer.  Not my will, but yours be done. 

--Jacob walks away with a limp.  But he has a new name and direction.  And a new understanding, beginning understanding of destiny.  To found a nation for God.

--Question:  Anybody struggling with your journey and the plan of God for your life and you say, "I think I hear you ....I think I need to say yes"...Don't be scared or ashamed.  I wish I could go back and redo my life sometimes, go back and obey, do it again better.  All I can do is from this moment on.  Submit to his will.  When there is a church that says yes to him, it makes a statement to the world.  It says we are under his lordship.  

--Altar is place of reconciliation.

--Song:  "I give myself away...."

Missing Missions This Year

I'm missing missions this year.

I wanted to go, so badly, with a friend of mine who was travelling to help with children's ministries in Cork, Ireland, this summer.  But going on this trip would have meant that I'd have to miss the VBS at our church--the one my daughter, Psalm, attended!  And so I declined the trip. It just didn't make sense to go overseas and help kids at VBS when I was missing out on ministering to kids at the VBS at my own church.

I'm absolutely THRILLED for all of my friends who are going on trips this year--missions trips to Central America, Europe, and Israel.  It's awesome to see their hearts and lives and passion for Jesus Christ exapand and increase.  They are reaching out with Your message of Love.

In retrospect, I understand why this wasn't my summer to go.  I had NO IDEA that God would be allowing us to purchase a house of our own THIS SUMMER--and only HE KNEW that I would need every single dollar to pay for the down payment for the house.  He knew it, though, and protected our finances.

I'm so thankful and excited about the house He has led us to.  Words simply cannot express!

But I am also looking forward to my next misisons trip, whenever and wherever it is.  Because I cannot wait to learn more about Him and His heart for the world.  And because I believe that I was literally destined for this.  My mind goes back to when I was a teenager--I decorated my bedroom walls with MAPS of the world. At the time, I didn't think a thing about it.  I've always been interested in the geography of the world and the people who inhabit it.  I've always had a deep desire to GO PLACES.  And in my mid-adulthood, I learned why.  He called me to it.  All along, it was His plan.

And, honestly, this is how I know that I have not taken my last missions trip.  

He is not finished with me yet.

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Prayer:

Lord, thank you for being true to your Word, for blessing your Children, for multiplying our seed.  Thank you for the GIFTS you give us--and for hearing our heart's cries and making all things possible.  I PRAISE YOU for Who You Are!  And this summer, as I struggle to figure out, still, the fullness of my calling, I know that ALL THINGS WORK TOGETHER TO GOOD, and that You will lead me, and I must be patient until You put the puzzle pieces together.  I trust You fully and completely.

Amen and Amen.

Chronicling a Miracle: Finding Our First Home

I've never been a homeowner.

Though I've gone through various seasons of thinking "it is time!", I have never, for one reason or another, been able to go through the process of owning my own home.

When I was single, I found that I really didn't have the money to invest in a home.  I couldn't imagine the cost of upkeep--and it just made more sense to rent with a reliable landlord/lady who would help me if anything went wrong, replace things that needed replacing, open the door for me if I locked myself out...

I have been blessed to have some incredible landlords/ladies.  From my years in Tahlequah until now, I can honestly say that I have NEVER had a bad landlord/lady, that I have been so very blessed to have incredible men and women rent to me.

Again, as a married woman, there were times that Stephen and I would go "house hunting," but nothing seemed to work out.  In our early years of marriage, it was working out credit issues (I had never had a credit card, for one thing).  And later, there was a situation with our car loan (because of miscommunication in the first three months of ownership--they told us our payments would be delayed for three months--we had to scramble to get up to date on our payments, and it took a toll on our credit) that kept us from being able to buy a home.

We've never given up on the dream, though.

Every once in a while, we will browse Zillow.com for homes in our area--Stephen and I do this independently, but if there is a listing that piques our interest, that we believe may be "the one," we will advise the other of it.  We have, many times, gone to look at a home.

Last December, we found a great little place, not far from where we live, in a newer community of homes in our town.  We looked at the home and thought we had "found the one."  But before we even started looking for a financier, the house sold to someone else.

We really thought that was the place.  We were a little disappointed.

When we thought this might be the place, we had gone out to the home and walked around it, praying.  We prayed for the house itself and God's Will for our lives.  We could "see" ourselves in the home.  It was nice, and it would be our own...But this wasn't God's plan for us.

I must interject here that I am so glad that I am married to someone who believes as I do that God's Will for our lives is the MOST important thing about ANTHING--especially any major decision like this one.

When the house sold, we took a bit of a break looking at houses.

It was months before we started looking again, and we were actually touring another house (that we both KNEW was not the house) when we stumbled upon the Zillow listing for the one we are under contract to purchase now.

(Yes, I said it:  we are under contract to purchase a home of our own!  But I must tell the story properly...)

When we went to visit the property, we loved the home.  So we contacted the real estate agent listing the home and got a tour.  Though the listing touted a "MOTIVATED SELLER" (yes, in all caps), when we put in a bid for $140,000 for the listed $175,000, the seller responded with a note that he would not reduce the price.  

We couldn't afford it.

Knowing we couldn't afford it, and that this so-called "motivated seller" really wasn't, I started keeping an open eye for other properties within our budget.  I thought, "Okay, I must be happy with what we have, with what we have been given and keep my eyes open for THE house..."  So, I kept looking.  

One afternoon, I suggested to Stephen that we go look at this house for sale on the other side of town.  He told me he didn't want to because he still wanted the house on Pleasant Valley Road.

"Well, so do I," I thought.  "But if we can't afford it..."

I believe in miracles.  So I found myself praying for a miracle.  For The Lord to lead us precisely to the house HE had in mind for us.  "Lord, help the seller change his mind abou the price--help us know, as you have before, when IT IS YOU.  We want a miracle because we don't want to do anything 'in our own power.'  We want this to BE YOU."

And so we stopped looking again.  And we were just going about our business.

Until last Friday.

Friday morning, Stephen said to me, "I just got a notification from Zillow.  They dropped the price of the house on Pleasant Valley Road."

I was literally walking out the door to work and stopped.  "What did they drop it to?"

He told me it was listing now for $160,000.  (A $15,000 drop!)

We both agreed that we had to "move" on the house.  We had to figure out what we could do to get in the house, if at all possible. This is our Dream Home.

I drove by the house on Friday and Saturday, parked in the driveway and prayed while in my van with Psalm.  "Your Will be done, Lord," I prayed.  "If it's your will, open doors.  Make the path straight.  If this is not your will, please close the doors in an obvious way."

On Sunday, which happened to be Mother's Day, Stephen drove by the house in the evening and he called the realtor listed on the sign.  He left a message, and she called back within 20 minutes and said she'd meet us on Monday.

On Monday, I took Dana and Paula out to the house to see it and pray with me about it.  As we held hands on the driveway and prayed, in a circle, we could feel the wind circle us as we prayed.  It was an amazing experience.

Since then, in one week's time, Stephen negotiated a price of $157,000 with up to $4500 in closing costs paid by the seller. We are under contract and working with a lender to get the home.  This Tuesday, I am taking documents to the lender in Ft. Smith. 

As of right now, we are supposed to close on the home in July. 

Everything has gone smoothly, supernaturally so.  

I wanted to record this so I could look back and remember WHAT GOD HAS DONE!!!  

There is no doubt in my mind that He has orchestrated this on our behalf.  

On Mother's Day, we had gone to my parents' church in Muldrow.  As I knelt at the altar, I saw, in a brief second, a picture of the house in my mind and heard the following, "Don't you know I give the best gifts?"

I had no idea that gift would be coming so swiftly--and I give ALL PRAISE AND GLORY to MY LORD.  

We didn't do this.  He did.

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"Pure Bride of Christ" Girls' and Women's Conference, May 3

I had the opportunity and spiritual blessing of being asked to help with a Girls' and Women's Conference at Victory Worship Center in Spiro, OK.  The conference was called, "Pure Bride of Christ."

When Kayli Fouts contacted me about her vision for this conference (this was the first annual conference), she shared her heart with me, her passion for girls and women to truly BE the Bride of Christ, to walk in the knowledge, to act in that knowledge, to impact the world with that knowledge.  One of the things she said in her afternoon session, when she shared her heart for the conference with everyone, was that she felt burdened to help girls and women to be bolder, stronger, more courageous, for Christ.  That we make an impact on the world, that we stand out, truly, legitimately--not fake, but REAL CHRISTIANS.

She said, "I'm sick of seeing the marriages in the church look like the marriages in the world....People should come to the church and KNOW they are going to see godly examples of what a real marriage is!"  And that's her feeling about single women, as well: that the singles in the church should be godly examples of singlehood.  

I felt her passion--and shared it.

Though I really felt conflicted about the engagement itself--my step-daughter Raylee had a Fun Arts performance in Edmond the same day and I had to miss it--I felt like I was supposed to be there.  So I kept believing that "all would work to good" if I just put one foot in front of the other.

It did.

First, I usually get extremely nervous when I am asked to speak at engagements like this--and especially so when I do not really KNOW anyone there.  For whatever reason, no one from my church went with me, so I was quite on my own.   And yet, I felt totally at peace when I pulled into the parking lot, and I can honestly say that I felt the Presence of God with me in the parking lot, and with every step into the building.  

He was there with me.

Second, I really needed to be there, and I knew that as the first general session speaker, Ms. Jan Fouts, began to speak to married women.  Without going into great detail, I can honestly say that I NEEDED to hear what she had to say--words of encouragement, of warning, of challenge.  She spoke with authority and anointing:  she herself has been married for over 40 years.  What a sweet spirit she has.

Third, although teaching three 30 minute sessions in a row was both a mental and physical challenge for me (and the second session suffered greatly for it), I KNEW God was with me, empowering me, speaking through me.  I felt Him.  Thank The Lord for His Presence.

Fourth, I got to reconnect with many people I've had in class before, and others I've attended church with or known through the church for years.  Even though I was by myself, I wasn't.  And that was another lesson I was hearing from The Lord.

Some things I learned, in a nutshell:

1.  I must never doubt God's timing.  Despite the conflicts in my schedule (the timing), HE WAS IN IT and I NEEDED the conference. God knew that. (I repented for questioning Him and this engagement until the very day of.  I should KNOW better--that He has my BEST INTERESTS at heart.)

2. I cannot take my marriage for granted--and I must be willing to WORK at it and WORK SOME MORE.  My marriage needs to be an example to others of what a GOOD MARRIAGE is.

3.  I cannot afford to give up--God will help me to maintain balance, and I must rely on Him to help me prioritize.

4. God is with me, whether anyone else is or not.  Sometimes, He grows us in those moments where we are on our own and just have to rely on Him.  He showed me, clearly, that I was supposed to be there that weekend. And He showed me that He was right there with me, the entire time.  (Did I mention that I had no anxiety or panic?!  That's God.)

5.  There is more to come.  Our steps are ordered, and I don't believe that anything is by accident.  I trust Him completely, I do.  (I have to.  I could never do this on my own.) There is more.  I'm not just saying that in faith, believing:  I know it in my heart.

There IS more.

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Postscript:  God allowed me to help Raylee tweak her outline for her short sermon at Fun Arts, and she went, fully confident, and earned three Superior Ratings.  She is extremely excited--and feels much more prepared--for Fine Arts next year.  (Her dad and I are excited, as well!)  God really works all things to our good. He really does take care of everything.

Thank God.