When Kayli Fouts contacted me about her vision for this conference (this was the first annual conference), she shared her heart with me, her passion for girls and women to truly BE the Bride of Christ, to walk in the knowledge, to act in that knowledge, to impact the world with that knowledge. One of the things she said in her afternoon session, when she shared her heart for the conference with everyone, was that she felt burdened to help girls and women to be bolder, stronger, more courageous, for Christ. That we make an impact on the world, that we stand out, truly, legitimately--not fake, but REAL CHRISTIANS.
She said, "I'm sick of seeing the marriages in the church look like the marriages in the world....People should come to the church and KNOW they are going to see godly examples of what a real marriage is!" And that's her feeling about single women, as well: that the singles in the church should be godly examples of singlehood.
I felt her passion--and shared it.
Though I really felt conflicted about the engagement itself--my step-daughter Raylee had a Fun Arts performance in Edmond the same day and I had to miss it--I felt like I was supposed to be there. So I kept believing that "all would work to good" if I just put one foot in front of the other.
It did.
First, I usually get extremely nervous when I am asked to speak at engagements like this--and especially so when I do not really KNOW anyone there. For whatever reason, no one from my church went with me, so I was quite on my own. And yet, I felt totally at peace when I pulled into the parking lot, and I can honestly say that I felt the Presence of God with me in the parking lot, and with every step into the building.
He was there with me.
Second, I really needed to be there, and I knew that as the first general session speaker, Ms. Jan Fouts, began to speak to married women. Without going into great detail, I can honestly say that I NEEDED to hear what she had to say--words of encouragement, of warning, of challenge. She spoke with authority and anointing: she herself has been married for over 40 years. What a sweet spirit she has.
Third, although teaching three 30 minute sessions in a row was both a mental and physical challenge for me (and the second session suffered greatly for it), I KNEW God was with me, empowering me, speaking through me. I felt Him. Thank The Lord for His Presence.
Fourth, I got to reconnect with many people I've had in class before, and others I've attended church with or known through the church for years. Even though I was by myself, I wasn't. And that was another lesson I was hearing from The Lord.
Some things I learned, in a nutshell:
1. I must never doubt God's timing. Despite the conflicts in my schedule (the timing), HE WAS IN IT and I NEEDED the conference. God knew that. (I repented for questioning Him and this engagement until the very day of. I should KNOW better--that He has my BEST INTERESTS at heart.)
2. I cannot take my marriage for granted--and I must be willing to WORK at it and WORK SOME MORE. My marriage needs to be an example to others of what a GOOD MARRIAGE is.
3. I cannot afford to give up--God will help me to maintain balance, and I must rely on Him to help me prioritize.
4. God is with me, whether anyone else is or not. Sometimes, He grows us in those moments where we are on our own and just have to rely on Him. He showed me, clearly, that I was supposed to be there that weekend. And He showed me that He was right there with me, the entire time. (Did I mention that I had no anxiety or panic?! That's God.)
5. There is more to come. Our steps are ordered, and I don't believe that anything is by accident. I trust Him completely, I do. (I have to. I could never do this on my own.) There is more. I'm not just saying that in faith, believing: I know it in my heart.
There IS more.
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Postscript: God allowed me to help Raylee tweak her outline for her short sermon at Fun Arts, and she went, fully confident, and earned three Superior Ratings. She is extremely excited--and feels much more prepared--for Fine Arts next year. (Her dad and I are excited, as well!) God really works all things to our good. He really does take care of everything.
Thank God.
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