Our church started the year out by calling its annual church fast. One of the things I fasted during the "13 Days in 2013" was sweets. I know, to some, it may not seem much of a sacrifice, but to me, it most definitely was! Not only was it stressful in my daily life--I had become "that person" craving sweet coffee or a sweet anything during my high-stress days--but I quite enjoy my chocolates!
But I made it.
And when the fast was over, I thought I might just keep the habit of foregoing the sweets! I knew this was a very healthy decision to make! I knew that, at least in the past, I had lost quite a bit of weight--as I recall, in a very short period of time--by just cutting out the sweets and candy from my daily routine!
Imagine my surprise when I weighed myself after a month of no sweets and found I had actually gained TEN POUNDS!!!
What?!?!
Honestly, I was majorly upset. I felt very "let down"--All of this work, for what? How on earth was I GAINING weight?! I was eating less, making better decisions...Wasn't I?!
I talk to God about just about everything these days. And I talked to him about this. About how disappointed I was, about how it all felt like nothing had happened--why had I even tried at all?!? I remember even thinking specifically, "Lord, how did this HAPPEN?!..."
Because I was so upset, I ate an available cookie. It was nice, but my craving for sweets had greatly subsided. It just didn't "taste" like I'd imagined it would.
I was a bit disappointed. Actually, I was a LOT disappointed. I had expected to see RESULTS when I stepped on that scale, and nothing happened.
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Days later, maybe even a week later, something happened to answer the nagging question in my mind and explain what had puzzled me about my weight gain and plunged me into a bit of a funk, if I'm being honest.
After school, Psalm is very hungry. Often, I am taking her one place or another to do business, driving her to dance, going to the church, whatever. Because she complains of her hunger (they take the Pre-K kids to eat FIRST, then they have a small snack in the afternoons), I have been taking her by McDonald's or Braum's or the equivalent to get her something to eat.
And, without a thought, really, I almost always grab something, too.
It was two days ago, on a Friday, when we last went through McDonald's. I ordered what she wanted; I ordered "my usual."
I NEVER read the labels on the McDonald's products. NEVER. I've never been "concerned" much about it before. But this time, I felt that "still, small voice" nudging me to read the label.
So I read it. And I was horrified.
No, HORRIFIED.
I guesstimated that I could consume four to five regular size candy bars at once and still not consume the fat grams and calories in ONE BOX of French Fries!
Seriously?!?! Isn't food supposed to be "GOOD for Me?!?" Isn't candy supposed to be much worse than real food?!?!
And then I realized. It was like the "internal light went on" and I realized why I had gained ten pounds. How many times had I gone through this drive thru in recent days, just getting "a meal," not over-eating? One regular meal during the day--a meal that would leave me hungry again in just a few hours--was the REASON I was gaining this much weight!
That was it. That was when I said, "Bye, Bye" to the Fries!
Fries are good. No, sometimes they're THE BEST! But it's not worth packing on another ten pounds when I'm desperately trying to get off forty.
They're just not worth it.
So, I am thanking God for answering my prayer that day when I was so disappointed. I am thanking Him for having mercy on me when I grabbed that cookie and ate it down, mostly out of disappointment.
It was all my fault.
OTHER AREAS OF MY LIFE gave me those ten extra pounds. And it counter-acted what I was doing in forsaking my sweets.
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Last night, as I was going to bed, I felt The Lord give me the title to this blog. And this morning, as I've been writing it, He's been patiently showing me what ELSE all of this means, spiritually speaking.
Sometimes we focus on one part of our lives, getting things in order, so much, that we forget that there are other parts of our lives that we much be concerned with, too. We can be working hard and sacrificing and thinking we are making quite bold and lengthy strides in the right direction, but if we forsake other important elements of our lives, we may find those other areas counter-acting what good we're doing.
We may be gaining weight, spiritually.
But as disappointing, as crushing as it is to realize you've gained ten pounds when you think you've been doing everything right, it's even more disappointing to know that right under your nose is a MASSIVE problem that, in addition to the extras--the "sweets," must be taken care of, too.
This morning, that is what God is showing me.
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So what's my plan now?
I plan on continuing to forgo the "sweet extras" in my life AND discontinue extremely unhealthy eating habits like the French Fries. It is my plan to "rethink" our daily life patterns, and that includes altering our last-minute, desperate "snack options" and looking into a family fitness plan.
(And I'm referring to both my physical and spiritual self.)
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You know what? I am sooooooo utterly grateful for the patience of our Heavenly Father. He KNOWS how to speak to ME. (And He knows how to speak to YOU.)
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