"When the Lord closes a door, somewhere He opens a window...," Maria says, as she's off to her new job, sight unseen.
The Lord closed a door for me this week--on that potential missions trip I had looked into. I watched every day for an email response from the missions group, but it was slow in coming. When I finally DID hear back from them, they told me that the missions trip had been closed last fall due to so many wanting to join the trip. (That information had not been properly updated online, however.)
Ultimately, though, I knew in an instant: This wasn't the trip for me.
Interestingly enough, although partly disappointed, something else arose in me.
Currently, I feel an excitement for Things to Come as I have not felt in a long, long while.
Something is brewing.
God is at work.
What He has for me to do this year? I will wait and see--and "jump on it" when I know what that will be!
The lyrics to "I Have Confidence" come to mind this morning as I think about recording all of this. It really encapsulates so much of my thinking right now, my "personal experience" at the moment.
She sings:
"What will this day be like?
I wonder.
What will my future be?
I wonder.
It could be so exciting,
To be out in the world,
To be free!
My heart should be wildly rejoicing.
Oh, what's the matter with me?
I've always longed for adventure,
To do the things I've never dared.
Now here I'm facing adventure
Then why am I so scared?
A captain with seven children
What's so fearsome about that?
Oh, I must stop these doubts,
All these worries.
If I don't I just know I'll turn back!
I must dream of the things I am seeking.
I am seeking the courage I lack.
The courage to serve them with reliance,
Face my mistakes without defiance.
Show them I'm worthy
And while I show them
I'll show me!
So, let them bring on all their problems,
I'll do better than my best.
I have confidence
They'll put me to the test!
But I'll make them see
I have confidence in me.
Somehow I will impress them.
I will be firm, but kind.
And all those children
Heaven bless them
They will look up to me
And mind me!
With each step I am more certain,
Everything will turn out fine.
I have confidence,
The world can all be mine!
They'll have to agree
I have confidence in me.
I have confidence in sunshine,
I have confidence in rain.
I have confidence that spring will come again!
Besides what you see, I have confidence in me.
Strength doesn't lie in numbers.
Strength doesn't lie in wealth,
Strength lies in nights of peaceful slumbers,
When you wake up, wake up!
It's healthy!
All I trust I leave my heart to,
All I trust becomes my own!
I have confidence in confidence alone.
I have confidence in confidence alone!
Besides, which you see, I have confidence in me!"
And I'll leave you (and me!) with that for today!
Monday, January 23, 2017
Sunday, January 8, 2017
First Leap of Faith in 2017
During the second service at church today, I felt the Lord rest upon my mind, start working in my spirit.
I cried for 10-20 minutes, while my pastor was speaking. There I was on the front row, tears spilling down my face. I had to take my glasses off. I couldn't stop crying.
I felt Him dealing with me. I could feel Him showing me some things in my spirit.
Between services, I had spoken to one of my CLOSEST spiritual friends. I had told her about my doubts--that somehow I had come to the point that I thought God had forgotten about my desires, my Calling, my heart for Him. (It has felt for some time that I am limited, unable to follow the calling He has for my life. I've felt at a stand-still, and one thing I fear most is becoming comfortable with my walk for Christ.) And then, there I was believing that I had anything to do with it at all. I just gave it to God.
"I trust You. You know my heart. This is on You. If You want me to stand still and DO THIS (what I'm doing right now) and never do anything else new for the rest of my life, so be it. Your Will be done."
And then the second service happened and He started downloading some things in my heart.
(I will not discuss these things in detail until there is a development.)
Suffice it to say, I left church today with a burden to investigate a potential missions trip to a place I've wanted to go for a long, long time. (And, may I say, it's a place that scares me to death in some respects?!)
All the way home, I prayed, "Lord, let all of the doors open if this is your will. Put it in my husband's heart to agree to let me go if this is Your Will."
When we got home, I shared my heart with Stephen, and he said, "Of course. Why would you think I'd say anything else?"
Thank you, Lord.
Now to figure out who I'm going with to get there...and how I'm going to raise the funds financially to go.
I sent an email to the most unlikely of ministries--a ministry that actually goes on THIS EXACT TRIP that is on my heart this May!!!. There are a million reasons why they may tell me "no"--not the least of which is the deadline for application, which is in 7 days. But, for me, I need to see if this is indeed the group I'm going with.
From there, I will talk to my Pastor and see if I can clear the dates.
And, don't worry...I'll post a Blog keeping track of the journey...
Thank you, whoever is reading this, for the prayers. I will need them, every single one of them, I promise.
God's Will Be Done & May His Presence and Blessings rest upon us,
Me
I cried for 10-20 minutes, while my pastor was speaking. There I was on the front row, tears spilling down my face. I had to take my glasses off. I couldn't stop crying.
I felt Him dealing with me. I could feel Him showing me some things in my spirit.
Between services, I had spoken to one of my CLOSEST spiritual friends. I had told her about my doubts--that somehow I had come to the point that I thought God had forgotten about my desires, my Calling, my heart for Him. (It has felt for some time that I am limited, unable to follow the calling He has for my life. I've felt at a stand-still, and one thing I fear most is becoming comfortable with my walk for Christ.) And then, there I was believing that I had anything to do with it at all. I just gave it to God.
"I trust You. You know my heart. This is on You. If You want me to stand still and DO THIS (what I'm doing right now) and never do anything else new for the rest of my life, so be it. Your Will be done."
And then the second service happened and He started downloading some things in my heart.
(I will not discuss these things in detail until there is a development.)
Suffice it to say, I left church today with a burden to investigate a potential missions trip to a place I've wanted to go for a long, long time. (And, may I say, it's a place that scares me to death in some respects?!)
All the way home, I prayed, "Lord, let all of the doors open if this is your will. Put it in my husband's heart to agree to let me go if this is Your Will."
When we got home, I shared my heart with Stephen, and he said, "Of course. Why would you think I'd say anything else?"
Thank you, Lord.
Now to figure out who I'm going with to get there...and how I'm going to raise the funds financially to go.
I sent an email to the most unlikely of ministries--a ministry that actually goes on THIS EXACT TRIP that is on my heart this May!!!. There are a million reasons why they may tell me "no"--not the least of which is the deadline for application, which is in 7 days. But, for me, I need to see if this is indeed the group I'm going with.
From there, I will talk to my Pastor and see if I can clear the dates.
And, don't worry...I'll post a Blog keeping track of the journey...
Thank you, whoever is reading this, for the prayers. I will need them, every single one of them, I promise.
God's Will Be Done & May His Presence and Blessings rest upon us,
Me
"God is Mindful of Us": A Word from The Lord
I was told I would do Call to Worship this morning. I'm always thinking and prayerful about what God wants me to present to the congregation. Today, I felt one phrase resonating in my spirit, repetitively: "God is mindful of us." I found the verse to correspond with this phrase in Psalm 8:4: "What is man, that thou art mindful of him? and the son of man, that thou visitest him?" In the NIV, it says: "What is mankind that you are mindful of them, human beings that you care for them?" So, as I do, I went to Strong's Concordance and investigated the word "mindful"--marked, recognized, remember, mentioned, mindful, think on...
I thought that was interesting.
We are marked by Him. Set apart. We are indeed His. The last part (buried toward the end of the entry) was interesting to me, as well--"think on." One version of this verse says He "thinks about" us. But He doesn't just think about us in one thought--He thinks ON us. To me, this is saying that He spends time THINKING ABOUT us. He cares for us.
He IS mindful of us. I shared the fact that I didn't realize God had answered our prayer and song and sent us snow for Christmas. "I'm dreaming of a White Christmas..." Many people I knew were discouraged that it hadn't snowed on Christmas. BUT IT HAD. My friends who attend mainline churches posted about it. It snowed here on January 6, 2017, the 12th Day of Christmas, the Epiphany. It did indeed snow of Christmas!!! When I saw my friends post about this, I thought to myself of the spiritual ramifications:
It snowed. Not on my calendar. But on a calendar I wasn't as familiar with. It was His calendar, so to speak. He did indeed answer my prayer--just on his timeline, not my own.
God is mindful of us.
As I prepared for church and went through two services, I kept witnessing this very thing (evidence of His mindfulness) present itself over and over and over.
And then...
In the first service...Sister Cathy led an older song for us, one called "It's a New Season, It's a New Day." And when she did, I just broke down. I couldn't believe it. This Monday, in early devotions, when I thought my entire world was going to cave in on my head, when I got up at 3 a.m. because I couldn't sleep and started writing devotions to the Lord, He brought that song to my mind. I even thought, "Should I fleece God on this song? Like, that this song will be sung on Sunday? That that will be evidence that He sees me, knows what's going on, etc.? I opted not to fleece Him with that song.
"No. I trust Him. I don't have to fleece Him. I'll fleece Him when I really need to..."
I almost fell down when Sister Cathy started singing it today. After I processed what was going on, I knelt down on the floor, face down, and wept, thanking Him for His faithfulness, His promises, His mindfulness.
I didn't fleece the Lord for that song. But He was showing me that He knew. He had heard my inner dialogue about it all.
Sometimes I feel like the Lord is patting the top of my head, like we often do children.
"I see you," He seems to say. "You're doing fine and you're going to make it."
(I so love Him.)
I thought that was interesting.
We are marked by Him. Set apart. We are indeed His. The last part (buried toward the end of the entry) was interesting to me, as well--"think on." One version of this verse says He "thinks about" us. But He doesn't just think about us in one thought--He thinks ON us. To me, this is saying that He spends time THINKING ABOUT us. He cares for us.
He IS mindful of us. I shared the fact that I didn't realize God had answered our prayer and song and sent us snow for Christmas. "I'm dreaming of a White Christmas..." Many people I knew were discouraged that it hadn't snowed on Christmas. BUT IT HAD. My friends who attend mainline churches posted about it. It snowed here on January 6, 2017, the 12th Day of Christmas, the Epiphany. It did indeed snow of Christmas!!! When I saw my friends post about this, I thought to myself of the spiritual ramifications:
It snowed. Not on my calendar. But on a calendar I wasn't as familiar with. It was His calendar, so to speak. He did indeed answer my prayer--just on his timeline, not my own.
God is mindful of us.
As I prepared for church and went through two services, I kept witnessing this very thing (evidence of His mindfulness) present itself over and over and over.
And then...
In the first service...Sister Cathy led an older song for us, one called "It's a New Season, It's a New Day." And when she did, I just broke down. I couldn't believe it. This Monday, in early devotions, when I thought my entire world was going to cave in on my head, when I got up at 3 a.m. because I couldn't sleep and started writing devotions to the Lord, He brought that song to my mind. I even thought, "Should I fleece God on this song? Like, that this song will be sung on Sunday? That that will be evidence that He sees me, knows what's going on, etc.? I opted not to fleece Him with that song.
"No. I trust Him. I don't have to fleece Him. I'll fleece Him when I really need to..."
I almost fell down when Sister Cathy started singing it today. After I processed what was going on, I knelt down on the floor, face down, and wept, thanking Him for His faithfulness, His promises, His mindfulness.
I didn't fleece the Lord for that song. But He was showing me that He knew. He had heard my inner dialogue about it all.
Sometimes I feel like the Lord is patting the top of my head, like we often do children.
"I see you," He seems to say. "You're doing fine and you're going to make it."
(I so love Him.)
Monday, January 2, 2017
Bucket List 2017
Ever sit and think about your Bucket List and think, "Do I put down the things I think CAN happen? Or do I include the things I WISH would happen? Or both?"
I guess what I'm pondering, as I type this, is whether or not my Bucket List for 2017 contains only achievable goals--or if it includes the things I WANT to see happen? Do I include both--even though, at the end of this year, not all--or even any--may happen?!?
How do I compose a list when I don't see HOW many things--if not all of them--will ever happen because of the limitations that I foresee? Can my list include things for the future--things I'd like to see this year OR the coming years?
I'm fighting what I see as The Im/possibles.
And yet, this is what I do.
Because ULTIMATELY, my hopes and dreams, my Calling, my aspirations, all go back and are reliant upon The Lord.
I believe with my whole heart that God hears me and sees my heart (and this list!) and He will help me accomplish what is RIGHT and GOOD for me.
So, it is IN FAITH that I write this list for 2017.
My Bucket List for 2017 includes:
1. Continuing to work on my Minister's Ordination--classes/completion.
2. Go on a mini-vacation with Stephen--either to Italy (dream weekend in Rome!) or a cruise.
3. Take Psalm to NYC to see a Broadway show--or two!
4. Go to Israel on a tour of Biblical places.
5. Go on a Missions trip--to anywhere, but also on my heart: India, Ireland, Italy, Israel.
6. Start the non-profit organization that God laid on my heart that will benefit children. (I have NO IDEA how this will be accomplished, exactly what we will do, but I'm wondering if that's just the level of faith He is requiring--or if I need to wait for further direction.)
7. Write and publish a book (or series of books). For children or youth.
8. Lose weight. (Reclaim that part of my life.)
9. Get my groove back.
10. Seek God more, always...More of Him--more love, power, passion, compassion, anointing, etc.
11. Go to Bishop Jakes' church multiple times this year.
Well, that's a start! As God as my witness, may it be a BETTER, MORE FRUITFUL year!
Amen.
I guess what I'm pondering, as I type this, is whether or not my Bucket List for 2017 contains only achievable goals--or if it includes the things I WANT to see happen? Do I include both--even though, at the end of this year, not all--or even any--may happen?!?
How do I compose a list when I don't see HOW many things--if not all of them--will ever happen because of the limitations that I foresee? Can my list include things for the future--things I'd like to see this year OR the coming years?
I'm fighting what I see as The Im/possibles.
And yet, this is what I do.
Because ULTIMATELY, my hopes and dreams, my Calling, my aspirations, all go back and are reliant upon The Lord.
I believe with my whole heart that God hears me and sees my heart (and this list!) and He will help me accomplish what is RIGHT and GOOD for me.
So, it is IN FAITH that I write this list for 2017.
My Bucket List for 2017 includes:
1. Continuing to work on my Minister's Ordination--classes/completion.
2. Go on a mini-vacation with Stephen--either to Italy (dream weekend in Rome!) or a cruise.
3. Take Psalm to NYC to see a Broadway show--or two!
4. Go to Israel on a tour of Biblical places.
5. Go on a Missions trip--to anywhere, but also on my heart: India, Ireland, Italy, Israel.
6. Start the non-profit organization that God laid on my heart that will benefit children. (I have NO IDEA how this will be accomplished, exactly what we will do, but I'm wondering if that's just the level of faith He is requiring--or if I need to wait for further direction.)
7. Write and publish a book (or series of books). For children or youth.
8. Lose weight. (Reclaim that part of my life.)
9. Get my groove back.
10. Seek God more, always...More of Him--more love, power, passion, compassion, anointing, etc.
11. Go to Bishop Jakes' church multiple times this year.
Well, that's a start! As God as my witness, may it be a BETTER, MORE FRUITFUL year!
Amen.
Word for the Coming Year: Immanuel
Each year for the past few years, I have asked the Lord to give me a Word or Verse for the coming year.
The first time I remember Him giving me one was several years ago when He told me Ephesians 3:20 would be my life verse. This was my life verse for two years, as I recall. And He was true to His Word. I saw that verse lived out in my life.
Last year, as I mentioned in a previous post, he gave me a Word that was, in effect, the equivalent of "I will sustain you." I remember, at the time, being kind of disappointed and questioning what I'd heard...Surely my Word for the year would be more inspiring, encouraging. No...no "above and beyond what I can think or imagine." It was what my year was going to be all about--survival and making it--with His help.
This year, I have heard very clearly, in my spirit, the word "Immanuel."
GOD WITH US.
So, whether awful times come this year--"GOD WITH US."
Whether good times--"GOD WITH US."
In times of amazing victory--"GOD WITH US."
Through thick and thin, nothing and abundance, He will go with us wherever we shall go. HE IS WITH US through it all. What an amazing Word. What an incredible promise.
I receive that Word, whole-heartedly.
(And I know better than not to receive it--it's my Word whether I like it or not! He knows what lies ahead, He is fully aware of what I am not. He sees what is coming. I choose to trust Him. HE IS WITH ME through it all.)
Immanuel.
Amen.
The first time I remember Him giving me one was several years ago when He told me Ephesians 3:20 would be my life verse. This was my life verse for two years, as I recall. And He was true to His Word. I saw that verse lived out in my life.
Last year, as I mentioned in a previous post, he gave me a Word that was, in effect, the equivalent of "I will sustain you." I remember, at the time, being kind of disappointed and questioning what I'd heard...Surely my Word for the year would be more inspiring, encouraging. No...no "above and beyond what I can think or imagine." It was what my year was going to be all about--survival and making it--with His help.
This year, I have heard very clearly, in my spirit, the word "Immanuel."
GOD WITH US.
So, whether awful times come this year--"GOD WITH US."
Whether good times--"GOD WITH US."
In times of amazing victory--"GOD WITH US."
Through thick and thin, nothing and abundance, He will go with us wherever we shall go. HE IS WITH US through it all. What an amazing Word. What an incredible promise.
I receive that Word, whole-heartedly.
(And I know better than not to receive it--it's my Word whether I like it or not! He knows what lies ahead, He is fully aware of what I am not. He sees what is coming. I choose to trust Him. HE IS WITH ME through it all.)
Immanuel.
Amen.
A Reflection of the Past Year: Goodbye 2016
As I like to do, I want to reflect on the past year as I anticipate the next. It is my hope that, in my musings, I can record thoughts that matter to me as I go forward.
In 2016, I felt the struggle in many areas of my life:
1. Financially, I felt like it was a day-to-day, week-by-week financial experience/struggle. I prayed, literally, for miracle after miracle, day after day, week after week. I can look back on the year and say that God truly heard my prayers and saw us through some very rough patches. Indeed, despite the STRUGGLE, I saw many MIRACULOUS occurrences that sustained us--from gifts from people who had NO IDEA of our situation, to dance scholarships for my children, God provided in only a way that HE can--miraculously, lovingly. I CAN say that we made it through because of Him. We are still in our house, and I'm still driving my car, because of Him. He has sustained me, us. Finances weigh heavily upon my mind and impact me emotionally (and are connected to every part of my life). What I am learning and have learned is that, no matter what, God goes before me. He will take care of me. While I haven't lived in the "more than enough," I have lived in the "I have enough." I think of what the Apostle said, "In whatever situation I find myself...I have learned to be content." (my paraphrase)
2. Spiritually, too, especially in ministry, I felt the struggle. Many weeks, I felt like a sleepwalker (not streetwalker! Ha!). It felt like, mostly, I was showing up and just trusting God to see me through. I battled myself in my mind, in my energy, in my spirit. Weeks went by speedily, and I felt as if I didn't have time to properly digest or process the nutrition I needed from Sunday morning sermons, etc. I would read a daily devotion or verse and feel like I swallowed it down whole, hoping it would properly (or even remotely) digest. For weeks at a time, I felt like I was the one in last position at a race, running my heart out, never getting a moment to stop and smell the roses or enjoy what I was doing. However, GOD SAW ME THROUGH. I am not dense--I realize there are "seasons" to our lives, and that this was one of mine. It was, in retrospect, a race for survival. And with God's help, I did. I made it through, intact. He would pour His precious anointing on me when I felt furthest from it. He gave me "words" of wisdom and "vision" when everything as I knew it was "closed down," on hiatus.
3. Home Life. Balancing home life and three jobs (CASC, Church, After-School) is a challenge for anybody, I'm sure. But I attempt to do it because of financial necessity and what I would call a most definite "call" to do them all. However, I have learned that this many jobs causes strain at home. I try to conserve my energies, to make sure I have time and energy for my family when I get home, but that isn't always the case. Many times in the past year, I have failed miserably, coming home and falling into bed. It's a drain, especially when there's no money to go on a vacation that matters, to spend time refueling. I am tired. I have been tired all year. It's exhausting. I NEED a break, honestly. And there's no time for that. Or money. It wears on me, and because it wears on me, it impacts everyone. Thank the Lord for the wonderful woman at church who comes twice a month to help me clean house. She helps me tidy the obvious--she helps with dishes, mopping, dusting...all those things I don't have time or energy for. And the job blesses her finances and her home. I praise God for that. I have many regrets, though, about the way I spent my at-home time last year, and I need to do better about that in the coming year. My family is MOST IMPORTANT. I must be the functioning glue that holds it together. I can't afford to be too tired for long! :)
4. Missions Work. I still haven't applied for the non-profit organization because I'm not sure I have a clarity about what I'm supposed to DO. I have many questions and even misgivings about what I'm to do. At times, I can see the vision again, in my spirit, but at other times, especially when reading about all of the responsibility, I can't help but think, "When do I have time to do this?" or "How on earth can I accomplish this full-time pursuit on top of everything else I'm doing?" I need to fast and seek God about this again. I need His input. I need clarity, and boldness (if necessary) to do what He is calling me to do. I also need help. I used to criticize Moses when I read of him asking God to let Aaron help him in his calling. I totally get it now. I get a lot of things now. Ha. On a serious note, I haven't been on a missions trip in a while, and it is really wearing on me. I'm not saying that I've missed the will of God, but I am saying that I'm supposed to do more than I am doing now. I'm called to do more than what I did last year. (But how do I BALANCE it all?!?!)
Every year, I ask God for a "word" or a verse from him for the year ahead. Though I can't remember the exact phrasing He gave me in 2015 for 2016, I remember He said that He would sustain me. And He has. He knew what was coming. My struggles weren't a surprise to Him. He knew all along and He was there for me through it all. I give Him praise. I survived the year BECAUSE He sustained me. And I Bless God for that.
In 2016, I felt the struggle in many areas of my life:
1. Financially, I felt like it was a day-to-day, week-by-week financial experience/struggle. I prayed, literally, for miracle after miracle, day after day, week after week. I can look back on the year and say that God truly heard my prayers and saw us through some very rough patches. Indeed, despite the STRUGGLE, I saw many MIRACULOUS occurrences that sustained us--from gifts from people who had NO IDEA of our situation, to dance scholarships for my children, God provided in only a way that HE can--miraculously, lovingly. I CAN say that we made it through because of Him. We are still in our house, and I'm still driving my car, because of Him. He has sustained me, us. Finances weigh heavily upon my mind and impact me emotionally (and are connected to every part of my life). What I am learning and have learned is that, no matter what, God goes before me. He will take care of me. While I haven't lived in the "more than enough," I have lived in the "I have enough." I think of what the Apostle said, "In whatever situation I find myself...I have learned to be content." (my paraphrase)
2. Spiritually, too, especially in ministry, I felt the struggle. Many weeks, I felt like a sleepwalker (not streetwalker! Ha!). It felt like, mostly, I was showing up and just trusting God to see me through. I battled myself in my mind, in my energy, in my spirit. Weeks went by speedily, and I felt as if I didn't have time to properly digest or process the nutrition I needed from Sunday morning sermons, etc. I would read a daily devotion or verse and feel like I swallowed it down whole, hoping it would properly (or even remotely) digest. For weeks at a time, I felt like I was the one in last position at a race, running my heart out, never getting a moment to stop and smell the roses or enjoy what I was doing. However, GOD SAW ME THROUGH. I am not dense--I realize there are "seasons" to our lives, and that this was one of mine. It was, in retrospect, a race for survival. And with God's help, I did. I made it through, intact. He would pour His precious anointing on me when I felt furthest from it. He gave me "words" of wisdom and "vision" when everything as I knew it was "closed down," on hiatus.
3. Home Life. Balancing home life and three jobs (CASC, Church, After-School) is a challenge for anybody, I'm sure. But I attempt to do it because of financial necessity and what I would call a most definite "call" to do them all. However, I have learned that this many jobs causes strain at home. I try to conserve my energies, to make sure I have time and energy for my family when I get home, but that isn't always the case. Many times in the past year, I have failed miserably, coming home and falling into bed. It's a drain, especially when there's no money to go on a vacation that matters, to spend time refueling. I am tired. I have been tired all year. It's exhausting. I NEED a break, honestly. And there's no time for that. Or money. It wears on me, and because it wears on me, it impacts everyone. Thank the Lord for the wonderful woman at church who comes twice a month to help me clean house. She helps me tidy the obvious--she helps with dishes, mopping, dusting...all those things I don't have time or energy for. And the job blesses her finances and her home. I praise God for that. I have many regrets, though, about the way I spent my at-home time last year, and I need to do better about that in the coming year. My family is MOST IMPORTANT. I must be the functioning glue that holds it together. I can't afford to be too tired for long! :)
4. Missions Work. I still haven't applied for the non-profit organization because I'm not sure I have a clarity about what I'm supposed to DO. I have many questions and even misgivings about what I'm to do. At times, I can see the vision again, in my spirit, but at other times, especially when reading about all of the responsibility, I can't help but think, "When do I have time to do this?" or "How on earth can I accomplish this full-time pursuit on top of everything else I'm doing?" I need to fast and seek God about this again. I need His input. I need clarity, and boldness (if necessary) to do what He is calling me to do. I also need help. I used to criticize Moses when I read of him asking God to let Aaron help him in his calling. I totally get it now. I get a lot of things now. Ha. On a serious note, I haven't been on a missions trip in a while, and it is really wearing on me. I'm not saying that I've missed the will of God, but I am saying that I'm supposed to do more than I am doing now. I'm called to do more than what I did last year. (But how do I BALANCE it all?!?!)
Every year, I ask God for a "word" or a verse from him for the year ahead. Though I can't remember the exact phrasing He gave me in 2015 for 2016, I remember He said that He would sustain me. And He has. He knew what was coming. My struggles weren't a surprise to Him. He knew all along and He was there for me through it all. I give Him praise. I survived the year BECAUSE He sustained me. And I Bless God for that.
Friday, August 12, 2016
Expecting the Unexpected: "The Moment Has Come"
I'm not certain what is going on right now, but there has been a VERY interesting development which has occurred in the past 48 hours. Something I was NOT anticipating may have just presented itself, and I am excitedly--yet emotionally reservedly--considering a new potential option in my life.
Because it is so very new, I am not at liberty to discuss it openly...yet suffice it to say that it has not only inspired me to think, but to engage in contemplation about my life, my purpose, my future, and God's Ultimate Plan for my life.
Soooo, as I am prone to wax poetic, here are some thoughts:
"The Moment Has Come"
You, God, Almighty God,
Creator of Heaven and Earth,
My God, My Heavenly Father:
YOU astound me sometimes
All the time, every millisecond,
But especially in moments like
This moment.
I, sometimes I am reminded
How limited my vision is--
How little I know about the horizon
And what lies upon it.
You have seen it coming all along
Even when I felt lost, you knew
This was coming.
In these moments of "revelation,"
I realize how very small I am, and I am
Compelled to bow my heart in awe and wonder,
Amazed by your love for inconsequential me.
When I look up to the expansive heavens
I can feel your smile in my heart...
The moment has come.
Because it is so very new, I am not at liberty to discuss it openly...yet suffice it to say that it has not only inspired me to think, but to engage in contemplation about my life, my purpose, my future, and God's Ultimate Plan for my life.
Soooo, as I am prone to wax poetic, here are some thoughts:
"The Moment Has Come"
You, God, Almighty God,
Creator of Heaven and Earth,
My God, My Heavenly Father:
YOU astound me sometimes
All the time, every millisecond,
But especially in moments like
This moment.
I, sometimes I am reminded
How limited my vision is--
How little I know about the horizon
And what lies upon it.
You have seen it coming all along
Even when I felt lost, you knew
This was coming.
In these moments of "revelation,"
I realize how very small I am, and I am
Compelled to bow my heart in awe and wonder,
Amazed by your love for inconsequential me.
When I look up to the expansive heavens
I can feel your smile in my heart...
The moment has come.
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