Important note about the following blog post: I incorrectly thought that my meeting with the lawyer was today at noon. I drove down to the law agency at the lunch hour and the door was locked. Something told me to check my email again from Tabi. I'd gotten the date wrong: it's next Thursday, Nov. 20th. I am not deleting the following post because it chronicles how I am/was feeling, on the morning of the day I thought I was meeting the lawyer. And I don't want to forget some of the things mentioned in this post.
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It has been precisely a week since I met with Tabitha McConnell at the Coffee Cup to discuss the crazy idea that was birthed in my spirit two weekends ago--starting a non-profit organization for children.
I am meeting with her lawyer today at noon.
I would like to be able to tell you that I am uber-pumped about this, that I am energized and counting the seconds until I can walk into that office and declare this God-ordained vision that He has given me. But I'm not going to lie: There is a part of me that wants to just call the office and tell them I can't make it in today: "I'm not ready. I haven't had time to really digest this." Or, "I'm just not sure about the timing--I mean, we're nearing the end of the semester and two of the year's biggest holidays..." Or, "Honestly, I feel like I'm in a whirlwind right now. I just want to spend time meditating and getting another clear word of confirmation from the Lord." Or, "Honestly, I feel like I am WAAAAAY in over my head and it's scaring me to death!"
But I'm not calling in.
I'm going.
Today, I am going to summon all of my courage and visit the lawyer's office to determine what all needs to be done to set up this non-profit organization and get it running. Yes, I will pray my brains out all the way there.
Today, I will be able to determine what it will take, financially and otherwise, to set up this non-profit organization. I will take this all-important second step with the lawyer.
Today, I am praying for clarity, peace, and direction. I am praying that HE goes with me, ahead of me, preparing the way. I am praying that He gives me a clear vision of my purpose: That I will see, in mind's eye, the faces of boys and girls who need to feel His love, His hand extended, through this ministry, this non-profit organization.
And this is what drives me forward: The KNOWLEDGE that kids are in desperate need of an advocate. And the thought that Jesus LOVES these little children--all of them, with His whole heart--and that He might choose me to minister to them through a non-profit organization.
God's Will be done.
Amen.
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Postscript:
If, by some miracle, YOU are reading this before noon, Central Standard Time, will you say a prayer for me? For all the children that could be impacted by my decision-making right now? Thank you in advance.
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